The Insult Chain Game

Hard to believe anyone extended you credit.


I'm wearing my "Grinch" tie today!

Egotistical of you to wear a tie with a self-portrait, but it's always all about you, isn't it? Buying yourself a new mirror for Christmas, el Grincho?

Got to run out and do some last minute Christmas shopping.

Just remember that an 8 by 10 high resolution photograph of your photograph (police mug shot) is on the wall of every break room and manager's office of every major department store in your state for serial shoplifting, so let me suggest you decide to "shop" the smaller boutiques to avoid being recognized.

My lunch today is penne a la vodka, leftover from the big tray of pasta one of my coworkers brought in yesterday for everyone to eat. And I'll take the remaining half a tray home so they won't throw away the leftover food.

You like to pretend that you have a wonderful life, and wonderful food to eat, but we all know your lunch today is really ONLY vodka, you drunken sot.


It's a beautiful day outside, and I want to play basketball.

In your dreams you decrepit old man, you couldn't even lift a tennis ball if you tried.

I've just done an hour's of surfing, very refreshing.

Wow, an hour of sitting in a chair, surfing the internet, and, for you, that's a "real workout", you lazy bum.

I have finally finished all my Christmas-related shopping.

Your cat will be happy as she is the only creature celebrating Christmas with you.

Looks like we'll be having an extremely hot X-mas day.

That must mean you got all those porn movies you asked for! An X Rated Xmas day!

I am helping my mom and her boyfriend prepare Christmas dinner.

Prepare is the wrong word, as always you're gorging yourself on their hard work and to top it off get smashed on their grog before Christmas has even started.

My neighbour will join us for Christmas dinner as she is home alone.

Your kind generosity stated above and the proximity of your birthday have earned you a well deserved insult pass. Once again, happy birthday Sir Dutchy!

I will be seeing two movies this Christmas weekend: The Adventures of Tin Tin and Young Adult.

Isn't it time you grew up and watch movies more suitable to your age you eternal teenager?

Need to catch a plane at 7am Christmas morning.

(Thank you for the Birthday wishes tsarstepan, you have a good memory).

Flying far away. Very nice class action christmas present.

Need to skim the grease off the sausage gravy.

But then there won't be any gravy left!

I start back to work on Jan 5th.

Thank goodness! That means you'll finally have to shower, and change your clothes and underwear, unless you want your co-workers to faint from the stench.

I'll be doing some baking later.

Your caustic contributions are ineffably uplifting.

I'm working on new year resolutions.

Why don't you just re-use the resolutions you broke last year?

I am headed to the pool in my swimsuit to catch some Vitamin D.

That's a change. not exhibiting your body as you usually do, frightened of being told of by your Mom?

My X-mas was superb, the food and 'cool' drinks were out of this world, worth the long trip.

So now you're frequenting the out-of-town soup kitchens, since the local ones kicked you out, you freeloading moocher.

Santa was very good to me this year.

No doubt you 'entertained' him in the usual manner, can't help yourself, can you.

May go and look for some bargains in today's after X-mas sales.

You can find some top notch grub in restaurant's bins at this time of year.

I'll be bottling some cherry wine soon.