Talking about your wife like that is soooooo disrespectful.
Speaking of wives,mine isnt so desperate.
Whodathunk?
My wife is gone on a businesstrip.
Does she work for Vivid Video?
I need a beer.
When don't you? Alcoholic.
I'm gonna go play some Christmas songs on my clarinet.
Actually, that's why I need that beer.
In fact, I want bourbon, I want scotch, I want beer.
Did she come back after all?
I'm gonna pour me a scotch now.
Drinking from the bottle doesnt qualify as "pour".
I'm a gin man.
More like you are the Walrus.
I need to replace my Abby Road CD.
Dont clean your pot with it next time.
I dated an Abbey once.....once.
Did she have a nice "road?"
I need some new music.
You need a life.
I completed my spring cleaning today.
Yes, the old bathtub and toilet look really good in the front yard, too!
I'm already tired of the holidays.
So are your relatives.
I heard Dodge is no good.
Dodging the alimony is no good either.
Volvo is supposedly a good car.
Thats what they said about the Yugo.
I have 2 Yugos.
And yet not 1 brain.
Hunting season cant come fast enough.
One for parts, and one that barely runs.
I need a new car.
I think 1 bike with 3 wheels would be safer for you.
I haven't been riding a bike for years now.
Carbuncle - I figured you would hide from hunters.
Bigdice - the hemmoroids are really bad, eh?
I'm leaving for home.
Tighten the seat nut and that wont happen again!
Speed limits are too high these days.
