The Insult Chain Game

Yes. You must be bordering on the figure of an anorexic 12 year old girl. For Pete's sake order an entire extra large meat lover's pizza with extra cheese and consume it in a single sitting before you waste away to nothing.

I have already purchased the ticket for another haunted house this Sunday at 10PM. It will be my second visit to a haunted house this week.

This time, try to not wet your panties every time you hear a shriek.

I admired the beautiful full moon tonight.

No. You weren't admiring the full moon but secretly wishing for the arrival of Jacob, the werewolf character from the goofy Twilight series of shallow chick-bait books. You need to grow up and read something more aimed at your age group: perhaps something from Jane Austin you 19th century twit!

I received an email from my manager informing me that I will be taking Monday off from work because of our project's moving to another location that week has been delayed by at least a couple days more.

What he said was "don't bother coming in Monday" because your job has been outsourced to India!

I'll be hitting the hot springs tomorrow after a long abscense.

Those long spas must be good for abscesses and absinthe and stuff.

I've lit the incense.

that's as hot as it gets

when you know, you know

3 years in kindergarten taught you a lot, eh!

Looks like it might snow..

Try washing your filthy windows, it's 60 degrees out, and bright and sunny.

I keep getting annoying phone calls that are recorded political messages.

You only get them because the candidates think you are stupid enough to vote for them.

I won''t be voting for either of the popular candidates but will vote for a third party.

Having another party again instead of voting, so typical.

The front lawn has been laid.

I guess everyone else turned you down.

I attended a student film festival last night.

Did you ask to see the filmmakers' driver's licenses to verify they were of legal age to be performing that kind of stuff on film? You can get into deep trouble by just watching the illicit material if there's someone underage in that type of ... bawdy film.

Recently we have had a mouse problem and have already caught 4 mice in our spring traps.

Maybe move out of the dumpster?

Most of my money is now invested.

That old , huh.

I do so love a garden.

You're like Peter Rabbit when it comes to other people's gardens. Always trespassing and stealing other people's crops.

I ordered one book online because I wanted to support the author whose free webcomic, Questionable Content, I really love. To get free shipping? I added two more books and I still haven't paid my rent this month.

So...you'e bragging because you consider comic books more important than living???

Occasionally I will go to the used book store and pick up some classics for a pittance.

That's because you invariably shoplift, you sticky-fingered thief.

I haven't visited my local public library in quite some time.

Not since you were kicked out!

Sadly, I rarely find reason to use the library anymore.

Can't find any pornography there?

I'm not sure how much Halloween candy to buy.

I guess that depends on how much you're planning on eating!

I am attending a Halloween bash this Friday night.