Why don't you do what you normally have, cheap take away from McDonalds, you useless cook.
Cutting the lawns will be my first job this morning.
That should be a novelty for you. Your grass is so high, you'll need a sythe to cut a path from your front door, just to get out of your house. Do you even remember where you put the mower, or if you even own one?
I am feeling very thirsty.
Good excuse to get drunk again you sot.
May cut my neighbours lawn too, she always makes me a great lunch.
Her lawn doesn't need cutting, you just want to freeload another lunch, you cheapskate.
I'm going to watch the Belmont Stakes race now--I'm rooting for Big Brown.
What would you know about horses donkey brain, fancy rooting for an ass that can't even run the distance and pulls up.
I backed the winner DA Tara of the Belmont Stakes, paid $40.00 on the Tote.
Of course, that won't make up for the 350 losers you've bet on.
I may have to gain some weight soon.
Why? Are your size 5X t-shirts and 56 inch waist jeans getting too roomy?
I just realized I'm out of coffee.
You mean out of money having spent it all on booz.
I'm about to open a nice bottle of whiskey and pour myself a nightcap.
Your idea of a nightcap is to finish the bottle and pass out, you sot.
I need to go to the store, but it's so hot out I don't really feel like going.
And the store doesn't want you there. Maybe just stay home.
I went for a 10 miles hike this morning.
I know your hikes, 10 miles in a golf buggy and stopping at the 19th hole.
Cleaning my water tanks this morning after all the rain we've had overnight.
Outhouse flooded again? If you got a job, you might be able to afford indoor plumbing.
I need to wear lightweight clothing today, it's going to be very hot.
Make sure your silicon implants are well covered or they will melt.
Baked myself a lovely hazelnut cake to go with the coffee tonight.
If you could only remember where you put it.
I have enough money to do what I want.
You're on the most wanted list for robbing banks.
Trying to teach my neighbours cat some tricks.
You'd be better off trying to learn from the cat--it's much smarter than you are.
The air conditioning in my office wasn't working yesterday.
Why don't you pay your bills and the power won't be disconnected.
Going to watch a great football match shortly.
Anything to avoid working, you bum.
I received my tax rebate check yesterday.
$1.00 will get you a long way you miser.
Thinking of becoming a philanthropist.
Isn't panhandling more your style?
I love my new telephones.
