Too lazy to cook for yourself? Too cheap to buy anything decent?
I'm leaving in 15 minutes.
Not soon enough--leave now. And don't think you'll be missed.
I just bought a little printer for my laptop.
Call that a printer? They must have seen you coming...
I can't stop hiccuping
Doesn't your booze intake always have that effect? What you need is a short sharp shock, like being guillotined, for example.
I have a free weekend.
Gatecrashing other people's parties again?
I think I'll take my shirt off...
Er leave it on we dont want to see a spare wheel.
Im going to aparty tomorrow
material girl wrote:Er leave it on we dont want to see a spare wheel.
Im going to aparty tomorrow
I meant a spare tyre, not a wheel, doh!
No one is paying attention to you anyway. Don't worry.
I just looked in the mirror and realized my body is sculpted from granite.
More like petrified wood.
I'm glad it's not so hot today.
"World's Fattest Human" Robert Earl Hughes also had a body scuplted from granite.
I like to keep myself lithe and trim.
How could you see? Stone blind, you must be.
I think I'll visit some friends tomorrow.
You'll think it tomorrow too. You have no friends.
I am waiting for the party to start.
You've been waiting for that party to start for at least 20 years. Nitwit--there is no party! You have no friends--who on earth would invite you to a party?
I found all the DVD movies I want to see in the library today.
Yes, I know those kind of "libraries", down dark alleys usually
I can sing like Tom Jones
Which Tom Jones? The plumber with the huge pot belly and the bad lisp?
I got all my errands done so efficiently today.
Things to do today: Wake up, Eat, nap, watch TV, eat, sleep.
I would like to sleep with Angelina Jolie.
You sleep with her if you want Nick, I'd sooner give her one. :wink:
I am arranging a barbie for Sunday.
In America Barbie is a doll. I hope the two of you have a great time together.
I shall be attending a function thius evening.
Another AA mtg?
I'm going sailing tomorrow.
Yes, I wondered why they put out a general alert for shipping in your area in advance!
At Christmas I love to dance the Hokey-Cokey
