And, since you're holding the gasoline can, the police are about to surround your house.
I just had an accident on the stove.
At least you lit it.
I rang the fire brigade and told them his call was a hoax
When they lock you up this time, I hope they throw away the key. You need to be parked away from normal, civilized people, you perverted creep.
I am about to put a casserole in the oven.
I suppose it is made from that accident you had on the stove top.
I am thrilled to bits that the Steelers won the game today.
that's probably the only thrill you'll be getting today....
I love to read books
Too bad you think read means eat...the town library is holding a fund raiser next weekend to get money to replace the Dr.Seuss books you've gobbled up.
There should be some excitement on the television screen tonight.
not everyone likes to watch porn...
I bought a new shirt today
Putting money in the basket at church and then swiping the ministers shirt is not really buying a shirt...and it wasn't new either.
Tragically I think the Panthers are going to lose their game.
Ahhh yes but the panthers look pretty in pink!
My clock fell off the wall today.
It's hard to stay attached to the wall when the cardboard box you live in gets soggy from the rain.
Dinner was quite good tonight.
Really? I've never had half eaten hamburgers from the dumpster before... Are they good?
Purple is my favorite color.
That is one of the colors people turn from sleeping out in the bitter cold...glad you like it but don't get too happy, it means your toes and fingers will soon be lopped off.
I need to get some sleep tonight/
Yeah maybe that will help get rid of those big bags under your eyes! Somehow I doubt it though...
I like pens better than pencils.
That's why by the time you do the New York Times crossword puzzle it looks like a Rorshock test.
I'm going to paint my fingernails tonight.
I don't blame you! If you're not going to wash your hands you at least need to cover the junk under your nails!
I don't like to be out in the cold.
Unforunately, being shiftless, talentless, friendless, and homeless, that's where you're always left.
I have to leave for work now.
Long journey to the couch.
I am seeing the doctor later.
Psychiatrists don't come cheap, can you afford it?
I have misplaced by passport.
Can't you remember? It's with the local police because you're not allowed out of the country.
Sweet an sour chicken for dinner mmmmmm.
Packet food again I notice.
I'm having Isle Of Man kippers, roast spuds, brocoli, carrots with turnip and a large beaker of hot strong tea.
