So your nickname is piano?
I have bad gas today.
And your hair ain't so hot either
My grass is getting greener
That's what happens when you don't smoke it timely.
My hair is getting thinner.
Too bad you're getting fatter.
I like oranges.
They match your complexion.
A good peach is better than sex.
It's been so long for you, I'm surprised you can remember.
I need to paint my skateboard.
Does it have the kid's name that you stole it from on it?
I don't paint anything
You need a skateboard with training wheels.
I need more exercise.
Using the remote not giving you enough of a workout? Try handcuffing yourself to a treadmill and swallowing the key.
I had a weird day at work.
We know. Three cows are missing and PETA has issued an all-points alert.
God eats fried tomatos for breakfast.
You should be more concerned with what Satan eats as you'll be joining him when you fry in hell.
I have a milk mustache.
That's beer foam on your lip, you fat bellied slob. To you it's probably mother's milk.
I'm making an easy dinner tonight.
As if you were capable of greater heights...
How come they call them "frozen entrees" now...instead of "TV dinners"?
Your capacity for "deep thoughts" is truly astounding. Such depth is generally only found in bottle caps.
My dog wants to go out and play and it's too hot outside.
Well, he can play inside with you. Just do what you usually do, and tie a pork chop around your neck.
All I want is 50 million dollars...
That and two Bud Lights may get you one friend...on a good day.
I want 150 million dollars, not to be paid as an annuity, but all at once.
That and two Bud Lights may get you one friend...on a good day.
I haven't had supper yet
If you're waiting for your wife to bring you supper, well, did I ever tell you about the one thing we have in common?
I'm getting psyched for tonight's show.
Do they let you watch television in the home?
My legs got sunburned yesterday
A potato head on two red sticks. Lovely.
I'm still trying to figure out how to operate my VCR.
