I bet your pink sweatsuit would beg to differ.
I'm taking my wife out for her birthday tonight.
The best present you could give her is a divorce.
I fed my pet box turtle three live worms today.
You originally had seven worms but you ate the other four.
The nights have been cooler than normal.
Absence of a sex life.
Nature is glorious.
Put your pants back on, there sport...
I got a new cell phone today.
E.T. call home.
I like olives.
Olives what you pervert you know she's Popeye's gal.
It's been a funny day.
Yes, in the asylum they all say that.
Time flies; it is essential that we have fun.
But wearing an aluminum foil hat and banging on a pot is not what most people consider fun.
I just don't feel alert today.
Your biological destiny daring to speak its name.
Faith is all we have.
No, unlike you, some of us have ambition, friends, jobs, families, food, and a roof over our heads.
I am trying to decide whether to have dessert.
While nations starve.
I am an accomplishment of nature.
So, Mother Nature DOES make mistakes
I am king of my domain
King of the flies.
All honor and glory is ours.
And the money and girls are mine
Time for a break
Whose legs will it be this time?
My favorite TV show is on in a little while.
Are you watching the thigh master?
At least I have the brains to add my own comment after the insult.
I love the show, "Six Feet Under".
Does it make you feel at home
My memory isn't what it used to be
You can say the same for your sex appeal.
I am so unhappy that "Six Feet Under" will be ending soon.
