There are elements of excitement in holding the ticket which is going to give you entrance to the live game Spendius, the train journey down to the ground, cans of John Smith, flying the England flag through the carriage window, the verbals in the pub before the game with the lads, buying the rosettes, the scarf, 1/2 a bottle of Johnny Walker Red in a large hip flask, a Ruben Marsden Pork Pie, the chanting at the supporters of the opposition. The roars and cheers as your eleven come through the tunnel and out onto the pitch, setting off those big red flash smoke bombs. You can't get that on a TV screen.
I rather think your suffering from agoraphobia, you might need psychiatric attention to remove this fear.
On second thought, this could explain your desire for celibacy, what did you do for sex before deciding to become celibate, watch one of those porn movies? They are not real Spendius, its all an act, a clever act to get your bank balance reduced, buying the film, importing it through one of those fancy sky dishes and paying silly sums of money to get a new decoder every six months.
What about food, do you simply turn on your box to watch Gordon Ramsey effing and blinding at immature apprentices and getting away with it?
No need to turn on the box to see fulgent soliloquies going on...
Is effing apprentices politically correct?
Thats what they are for isnt it? Why else would you bother taking one on?
I used to keep a selection of leather belts on the back of the door each one had the name of one of our apprentices on it. you should have seen the look on the faces of the ist year kids when they saw them.
I was actually secretly pleased when girls started getting apprenticships.
Will Australia survive the first round of the world cup?
I doubt it but I hope they do.
Harry Kewell is in good form just now.
Has anybody any idea how Mathos knows so much about porn movies?
Take some time and think of who we're talking about here. Porn is a great "outlet" for men who need that little extra visual aide. Mathos needs that outlet.
Dont you ever dabble in the seedy world of erotica?
It has to be a natural outlet, if I was going to a bar for instance and there was one adjacent with lap dancers or strippers on the floor, I wouldn't go and sit with Spendius to save twopence a pint in 'The Old Brown Cow'
There is nothing dirty obscene or wrong with natural sex and women cavorting for men! It just happens to be a ruse they use to make money and they enjoy the power they naturally acquire in turning men on.
I wouldn't mind betting women behave far more outrageously than men at a strip show, if they venture into a 'Male Full Monty'
Do you ladies agree with me?
Blimey-you are one boo-boo Mathos and no mistake.
You are supposed to ask a question that anyone can answer. It's rule designed to make the game go faster. The "ladies" as you call them are Americans and they are at their early evening chores at this time.
And how can any of us men answer when you have addressed your question to the ladies without risking being accused of having leanings.
So I'll rephrase your question for you just this once and I expect you to do better in the future otherwise I might send you to the headmistress's study for proper correction.
Do you agree with me?
You see.Now I can answer.
I do agree with you. I have had eyewitness reports from ladies who went to see The Chippendales. It is too disgraceful to tell you about on here I'm afraid. So I do agree with you. So long as they're drunk I mean.
I wouldn't agree though as regards respectable ladies.
Would you?
The deputy headmistress used to send for me on a regular basis when I was in my 16th year.
She was an extremely dominant lady with a gorgeous figure and long dark hair, wich was normally fastened up in a bun, however, she always released it and shook her head when I arrived at her room. She would then state, "You have been a naughty boy again Mathos"
Do you think all women like to dominate?
No, not all women. But I will share a skeleton with you gents....When I was 19 I worked at a little topless bar in Texas and in that time I made friends with some males from a bar up the road. The women who frequented that place bought those men Wave runners and trips to exotic islands as long as those men went there with them. Now the men who went to my bar offered things as well....boobs, trips and I was even offered a job with a growing company as a personal secretary. The difference is the women think they can buy the mens love the men just want to buy the women.
What do you think about that?
I think it is fascinating shari.
So much so that I'm going to sleep on it and not rush into any premature conclusions at such an early stage as this.
Am I right in thinking that you approve of that?
Absolutely! I wouldn't want you to feel rushed.
Anyone else have anything to say...on topic, that is?
Interesting topic you have commented on Shari.
Natural, but interesting, women in general might tut tut at you, that could be because they neither have the figures or the spunk to flaunt. There is an old saying, 'If you have it, flaunt it'
I have to admit to being totally obsessed with the female form, I think it is absolutely beautiful, (if looked after) and should be admired. The sleekness of many beautiful things in life i.e. cars, power boats etc. are all referred to as the feminine.
Who was ever interested in Marilyn Monroes or Madonna's voice, it was their flirtatious actions combined with sexy looking bodies that we men drooled over. That gives you a great deal of power..
I should watch out for Spendius though, he does not appear to like women with power.. He might become the Witchfinder General of A2K.
I think you could handle him though.
Do women enjoy being attractive to men?
I cant speak for all women, but it would depend on the man that you are attractive to. If you are only attractive to losers and perverts then NO its not very enjoyable. Everyone likes to be attractive to others in some fashion whether it be physically or mentally. Being married I find that its hard to maintain a constant positive self outlook, so just knowing that you are attractive to men other than your husband gives a sense of gratification.
Would you agree with that?
No!
I much prefer to be attracted to those of the opposite gender (which means women in my case). I do not, however, object to people of the same gender being attracted.
Do you prefer 'gender' or 'sex'.
[..thanks for welcome from mathos...]
Yes, I would agree, there is your self-satisfaction to be considered and a beautiful woman is naturally born to aim high. Nothing wrong with that at all. I once asked a very beautiful 'Strippogram Girl' what she considered the highlight if any of her 'spot.' She told me she had a vivid imagination of all the men in the room being totally naked whilst she was cavorting and stripping, putting them into various stages of how she thought they were reacting to her show. She also enjoyed picking men out and staring into their eyes as if hypnotising them and again she obtained pleasure from their obvious reactions.
Do you think she was off her trolly?
Certainly not - I think she was quite normal, actually. Who hasn't fantasized in such a way?
Would you ever strip for money?
I would. For £10 a go I strip off all day long. I might even get sexier with practice.
Have you ever done it or nearly done it?
Regular as clockwork Spendius, years ago when I played rugger, every Saturday night in the club, we would 'get 'em off' to the chants of 'Haul them down you Zulu Warriors'
The women loved it.
Have you ever had experiences like that?
No I haven't. I used to save that sort of thing for one on one situations where you can't pretend it is all just a good laugh and trot off home to the domestic bliss singing sexy songs.
I have no idea whether the women loved it or not. I would never second guess a woman but they were persistant and I did eventually feel it necessary to retire or,if you prefer,withdraw.
Do you think rugger is a male bonding type of thing?
