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What happens to your spouses feelings for you, after they've cheated on you...

 
 
Yazzy81
 
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Reply Tue 21 Apr, 2015 09:52 pm
@ChurchKei ,
U are very cold hearted, i hope in the end ur lover finds another married man, and ur wife finds someone who deserves her... Clearly u don't..
When ur lover is over the lust and start enjoying sex with another married man I hope u feel the burn.....
Like they say...... What goes around comes around... I am sure u will get a taste of ur own wart.... Good luck!
Eliusa
 
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Reply Wed 22 Apr, 2015 08:23 am
@sparkleshine,
You don't know that she will leave so you can guarantee nothing.
Some women just lost without a man. She was supposed to leave
as soon as she found out he has a lover. Instead she is staying and
nagging. Its sick! She won't leave. She has no job, kids and nowhere to go.
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ChurchKei
 
  0  
Reply Wed 22 Apr, 2015 06:22 pm
@sparkleshine,
No... I decided I would just continue to do like cheaters do (when they don't want to lose half) ,. I will just go along with it and pretend,. I'd Rather pretend, than lose half of everything.
I'm positive she will accept my pretending, like they all do...
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ChurchKei
 
  0  
Reply Wed 22 Apr, 2015 06:35 pm
@Yazzy81,
What makes me cold hearted? Is it Because I have feelings for someone else other than my wife? Or because Of my willingness to express how I feel out loud?
Do you suggest that I kept it all a secret and pretended to Love my wife, so that I wouldn't hurt her feelings? If you answered, yes,. You just figured out exactly why, a cheater cheats, stays around, and then continues to cheat some more.
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ChurchKei
 
  0  
Reply Wed 22 Apr, 2015 07:19 pm
@Eliusa,
Hahahah lol! ...,I try not to be so brutal but, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks!

You asked how her husband is doing..., well being that I have had my married lovers husband call me several times yelling,screaming, threatening, Because my lover forgot to delete our text messages,... he is always sad, and believes that everytime she walks out the door, she's coming to me (unfortunately most time, that's true)...

When I try to talk about separation, somehow or another my wife will pretend that I don't mean anything I've been saying this whole time.. And will go back to moving about like everything is normal.. She wants to stay in denial, (I think it feels better to her, so she likes to handle it that way, I guess...)

No, Money is not a huge play,. My biggest reason is fear of complete change and being looked upon as the bad guy to everyone. (My kids especially)
Eliusa
 
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Reply Thu 23 Apr, 2015 05:47 am
@ChurchKei ,
How long do you think you can continue like this?
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NoSaint
 
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Reply Fri 19 Jun, 2015 12:11 pm
@ChurchKei ,
Hi ChurchKei,

I cheated on my husband. I am feeling what you described and ashamed to admit it. I don't have friends to talk to and I don't know what to do anymore.

We've been married 6 years, no kids. I had a 10-day affair, it is now nearly 9 months behind us but we stayed together, after he caught me lying about it. I haven't cheated since and broken off all contact with the guy.

Nevertheless, my husband is still very hurt by it. He brings it up (more rarely now than he used to), but when he does, I always feel like I want to run away. Not to the affair partner, just run. I am not empathic enough for his pain, I don't like answering his questions and close off whenever he brings it up. Even though my husband loves and compliments me the rest of the time, I've grown to hate myself more than he hates me (when he has hate episodes).

I don't have self respect and what's worse, I can't bring myself to make the efforts to save the relationship that he expects of me. I feel like just nothing matters anymore, but also feel too scared and guilty to leave due to a combination of excuses I make (he threatens he will tell my entire family, I don't want to hurt him even more, he wants me to stay, etc).

I feel like I deserve to be unhappy and leaving will just make it better for me and worse for him, which doesn't seem fair. I don't think we are that compatible and always see myself as single. I've wanted to leave him various times before this affair happened, but I could never go through with it. He sometimes says he will cheat on me to get revenge, but he never does, nor does he want to leave me. I guess I am too comfortable. I'm not sure if I really love him and he suspects it. The guilt!!!


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