No not a pastor, but I go to church.
Again, .. I've tried leaving and I've tried asking her to leaving .
I do care, I'm just not sexually attracted,. That's why she's still around,. I want to keep everything else about her,. She's a great person, I won't take that from her.. She's been there through thick and thin,. And I know It's not fair... But truthfully, I can get my lover to do the same things,. It's just that my wife, has been around longer, and things are already set in place... And who wants to lose comfort and familiarity? I know what my wife will do for me, because she's proved it. Which would explain why myself and most men, would just rather keep things the way they are, and just get the sex and friendship part from somewhere else; all without hurting our wives feelings and being with our lovers at the same time. The lover becomes more of our sanctuary. if my wife tries to keep me from her, I silently lash out. Because I need my lover like a drug, and I'm a jerk to my wife, until Im able to see my lover again. My wife may gets flowers when I come home after , because I've gotten my fix and I'm then so happy, lol! Sad, But that's the truth.
I love the way I feel around my lover, like I'm alive again, explosive, powerful, fun. My wife doesn't make me feel that way,. I have to be careful what I say to her all the time, I can't tell her the same jokes and she laugh, I can't be myself because I'm always considering how she feels, for fear of nagging and complaining about something being done wrong,. or trying not to say the wrong thing to start an argument. With my lover, we argue; but it's a turn on for us... We try to stay away from each other but after a few days of that.. We find our way back to our forbidden passion. (Sorry, I slipped into a moment, lol!) and the greatest part, we don't judge each other or point fingers,. We a just at peace with one another. There, however we can have it. If I only get five minutes with her, that five minutes of a beautiful portion of my life without problems.
ive tried to have this conversation with my wife, but it hurts her feelings to have the conversation. She can't understand what happened, and why I don't find her attractive anymore. But the answers I give are never enough for her! It's like she wants me to erase and start over and the next time tell her I'm joking
We've tried lots of things to keep the spark, believe me ! ... Once I lost the attraction, there is nothing else she could do.