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Having an affair with a married man consequences??

 
 
Reply Sun 12 Apr, 2015 12:18 am
Ive been having an affair with a married man for about 2-3mo. We've known each other for years. He had just got married last year. So this evening when we meet up, she followed him and he did not know it. I had just got into his suv and kissed when she came driving up in front of us. Needless to say, she opened my passenger door and started beating on me in the back of my head and face. I handed my glasses to him so she wouldnt break them. Ive never been in a fight before. I went into shock. Well of course she called me every name in the book and then some. I got out of his suv when she told me to and left. She works for a lawyer. so later on he called to check on me and he said it wasnt worth it anymore that he couldnt risk his marriage. She had told him she wanted a divorce but he want to work it out. I almost called the police because she did assault me. I wasnt sure what to do. I dont know what my consequences would be if any at all. He told her we are just friends. I know she dont believe that. Ive thought about msging her and saying look ok we've been having an affair and attaching photos hes sent me. Im really pissed at him right now bc he did not do anything or say anything when she was hitting me. He did call to check on me and apologize for what happened. I dont know what to do. Ive never had an affair with a married man. Any help here?
 
roger
 
  5  
Reply Sun 12 Apr, 2015 12:30 am
@bluediamonds1275,
You certainly do have a right to police protection, if you want them involved, but barring real injuries requiring treatment, it's probably not a good idea.

I suggest you don't contact her in any way. Drop the guy, too, and don't do that any more. You most certainly should not be thinking of sending the photos. It's all going to hurt her husband more than it will her. Hopefully, that isn't what you want.
FBM
 
  4  
Reply Sun 12 Apr, 2015 12:38 am
Gotta agree with roger. Walk away. Let them reconcile, if they can. I don't know what sort of infidelity laws they have where you live, but the safest thing for you legally would be if they got back together and you never saw either of them again. If you keep yourself in the battle, it could be you who winds up hurting the most.
bluediamonds1275
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Apr, 2015 12:43 am
@roger,
No, I haven't done anything. I knew this was all a mistake to begin with and shouldn't have done it in the first place. I knew sooner or later we would get caught but he's also saying we are just friends and we weren't having an affair. I don't want to ruin his marriage in any way. He had told me that the only reason he was doing this was because he thought she was cheating on him again. I don't understand why he even remarried her in the first place. We both decided to go our own ways and not contact each other again. Though I did msg her not to let what happened tonight happen again and she's lucky I didn't hit her. He thinks that she is somehow getting into his fb or phone to see the messages between us. How was she to know that we would be meeting up in a certain public place and already be there waiting on us. Of course he deletes his messages and he's asked me to do the same as well. I hadn't deleted my messages for a few days until tonight. Like I said, she works for a law firm so Im sure she has been pulling some strings somewhere. This want ever happen again.
0 Replies
 
bluediamonds1275
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Apr, 2015 12:45 am
@FBM,
Yes you are very right. Im staying out of the picture. I've blocked both of them from contacting me again. Im not going to get the law involved bc it just isn't worth it. If she would have done damage to me or my vehicle, yes I would have called the law.
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FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Reply Sun 12 Apr, 2015 01:01 am
@bluediamonds1275,
I think that you are lucky it only lasted 2-3 months. He's gutless and obviously loves his wife but was happy (after only one year) to have an affair and not even protect you, so that he could cover his butt.

I'd be upset as well on that note.

You've done the right thing, put it behind you don't look back, don't engage in any photo sending, conversations.

She knew what it was or she wouldn't have reacted so deeply over it. Though she was wrong as well, not exactly ladylike material but you know.

0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  2  
Reply Sun 12 Apr, 2015 01:14 am
Just stay away, if you charge her with assault, the judge will laugh you out of the court room. He's entered into a marriage contract, go buy a clue. She's too good for him, but what were you thinking carrying on with a married man. So the bloom is off the rose, you couldn't see that coming. Find a nice single man.
bluediamonds1275
 
  2  
Reply Sun 12 Apr, 2015 01:34 am
@FBM,
She just better stay away from me. Im done, yes I admit what I did was very stupid on my part. I never thought Id be sitting her having a discussion like this. I am disabled and if she causes injuries to me or hurts me in any way, she will have my lawyer to deal with. She is nothing to me. As far as I am concerned at this point, he never existed to me.
FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Reply Sun 12 Apr, 2015 01:40 am
@bluediamonds1275,
You sound angry, very angry.

Would you consider seeking some help from someone so you can openly continue to talk about it and try to let it go totally from your life?

We all have something wrong with us, I doubt that she knew of your disability in the heat of the moment, people react differently when they catch their partner out.

I'm not so sure why you are so angry at her? It should be him totally you are angry with.

And off course coming to realisation that you dabbled with danger by having the affair.

Not at all being rude with that comment.
bluediamonds1275
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Apr, 2015 01:56 am
@FOUND SOUL,
Yes, I am still angry (4hrs later). Im angry with him, Im angry with her for hitting me. I would have done the same if I was married and caught another woman in his vehicle. I understand why she did what she did. The back of my head is very very sensitive and sore right now. I have migraines almost every day. Her hitting me has not helped at all tonight. Im angry with myself for having an affair with him. He got married middle of Oct 2014. Why he decided to sleep with me again, Im not sure why. We've always enjoyed being with each other. I know that what I have done is a major sin. I have asked God to forgive me. He's been all about protecting himself and never thought about protecting me I guess. After I left the parking lot, they were still there like 2hrs passed before they left. I had went to go pick up a girl friend of mine to go eat. We had seen them still in the parking lot. I just hope they work things out. After all, I know he really loves her after marrying her again. She had cheated on him the first time they were married. I've even thought he was using me to get back at her this time around. I needed some insight tonight about what happened and what to do and what not to do. Can she file any kind of charges on me? I didn't do anything to her. Didnt even hit her.
bluediamonds1275
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Apr, 2015 02:05 am
@bluediamonds1275,
I want to thank everyone for your advice and your help. I appreciate everything everyone said and thank you for not downgrading me for what I did. Im sure this happens to more people than what we think. I had a feeling something was going to happen sooner or later and was feeling guilty for what I was doing. Thank you all for listening to what I've had to say. Hope everyone has a good night.
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bluediamonds1275
 
  3  
Reply Sun 12 Apr, 2015 02:18 am
@FOUND SOUL,
I also want to thank you for your concern for seeking someone to talk to about letting it go from my life. Im sure Ill be ok in the morning. My best friend was a lot of help to me tonight as well.
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FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Reply Sun 12 Apr, 2015 02:39 am
@bluediamonds1275,
You're welcome.

I'd love you to come back in a couple of days.. It sounds to me as if, there's a bit more here. Married 6-7 months, slept with you "again" hope they work it out, you know he loves her, he could have used you, she cheated.. Sounds as if you got yourself caught up in a mess Smile

She can't file anything on you unless her husband lies and says you hit her.

Then there has to be proof .

Are you worried that she may make something up and he'll do what he did before, stick by her ?

I'll let others answer I am not from USA, different laws.

Migraines. Are horrible..... Keep drinking a lot of water, stretch.. Glad you have a girlfriend with you.
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BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Sun 12 Apr, 2015 05:25 am
@glitterbag,
First of all what kind of man cheat on a new wife he just taken marriage vows with?

I also find it somewhat "amusing" that the wife attacked you instead of the man who had just vow to be a loyal partner for the rest of his life to her.

Then in something like seven US states you could still be sued by the wife for the legal tort of alienation of affections.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alienation_of_affections

I agree with the other posters walked away from this mess.
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jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sun 12 Apr, 2015 06:19 am
@bluediamonds1275,
If migraines are something new to you, then contact your doctor and ask to be checked for a concussion.

Actually, maybe do that anyway.

In the meantime, yeah, walk away and get thee to counseling. Consider why you were a part of this drama, and why you allowed this to happen. You say he only looked out for himself. My impression that he was only looking for himself throughout the affair as well.

Maybe learn why you settled for 1/4 of a narcissistic creep, instead of going after a generous person who could be yours 24/7.
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