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Sun 5 Apr, 2015 10:30 pm
There's this girl that I've known for 8 years. I bumped into her a couple weeks ago and all those feeling for her came back like that! I have always wanted to tell her that I like her, but could never bring myself to do it. She is recently going through a break up from a 2 year relationship so yes, I'm the shoulder to cry on. I've been through all her break ups and I'm really tired of seeing her go through this. I can make her really happy, and the things that I feel for her go beyond words. So one day I just manned up and told her everything despite the bad timing. She told me that I'm "nice & a gentleman" and that the feeling isn't mutual. She said that I don't mean any of that and that I'm just taking advantage of her and that we could just be friends so I agreed thinking what if I show her that I'm willing to do anything. So I try cheering her up when I drove her to San Diego to show her a good time and she just wasn't having it. Next morning I wake up and shes in bed with another guy. I get it, we are just "friends" but I felt excruciating emotional pain, I went numb. Now she's all talking to the guy, planning dates and everything. I'm sorry of I sound stupid but I don't know what's going on. What do I do?
@mcmextr,
mcmextr wrote: the feeling isn't mutual.
we could just be friends
she just wasn't having it.
we are just "friends"
I don't know what's going on.
What do I do?
She is not interested in you in a romantic / relationship way.
The thing to do is to accept that and to move on with your own life as she is doing with hers.
It probably is not helpful to you to spend time with her. Find other friends, meet new women.
@ehBeth,
Yeah I thought so. Thank you for the reply. I figured I just cut all communication with her as of now.
@mcmextr,
Or you could, you know listen to what she said and try actual friendship, as if she were a guy or a woman you weren't attracted to.
You know, instead of pushing for more as if she owed you something.
I found it a bit insulting that she would say to you "You don't mean that. You're just trying to take advantage of me".
No, she's not into you, but after saying that, disparaging my character, I don't know that I'd be into her.
@mcmextr,
do you consider her a friend? or someone you were only interested in if there is to be a romantic/sexual relationship.
You said: "what if I show her that I'm willing to do anything."
Girls don't like that. It's sappy. It's needy in a passive-aggressive way.
You acted like a doormat and she didn't take you serious.
Distance yourself from her, only because it hurts you. That's because you didn't work the relationship, you just went in and suffocated it. She pushed you away and you didn't play the game right.
You said it yourself: 'despite the bad timing.' You got hurt.
LEARN from this for the next time. Don't start out by being 'the shoulder to cry on." Most guys never move on from that role.
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