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Sat 4 Apr, 2015 07:30 am
I am having a big trust issue!! Been together w him for 10 years. We took a week break 3 years ago cuz of cheating, lieing and drugs! I was devastated n he wasn't! He got to do whatever he wanted and I had to be a mom to our kids. We got back together and moved to a different state to start over. But I haven't seen a change in him after 2 years being away and me completely giving myself to him... He applies for credit cards, phone plans, and other online things without talking to me or telling me! He creates new email addresses and then makes other online accounts w it. He goes to friends houses after work but lets me think he's still working. When I try to explain to him that it makes me hurt and I just want the truth he swears up n down he isn't lieing or he asks me what the big deal is. I try to trust him but as soon as I do I find things he does wrong. I tell him everything. Sometimes I can't think of anything but what he's doing and I'll check his phone, fb, email, anything w internet constantly!!! What's wrong w me or him? I need advice or I might just go crazy!!!
@smalls0509,
Only you can decide whether or not to leave, but I'll give you my advice. I was honest with my husband when I had a one night stand with someone. We started and still go to counseling two years later. My husband knows he can trust me now, but we've both decided to stay in counseling. If your husband truly was sorry, and has learned his lesson, he'd show it. I say go to counseling. That way you have an educated third party to vent too, and he will get an educated response. You do not deserve to live in fear, and completely stressed.
@smalls0509,
You made the same mistake millions of other make:
thinking that he will change or
your love is enough to make him wake up.
This guy has ingrained behaviors that are not going to change. And you have mothered him for all these years. Hardly a relationship!
You either take him as he is, leave, or he changes.
What choice can you do, without killing yourself (and your kids -he's a horrible model for them)?
@smalls0509,
I just don't understand if he doesn't love me anymore y don't he ltell me and I'll leave... I've told him just tell me and I'll leave and well both be happy (kinda:(. But he swears up n down he loves me and blah blah blah! But u don't do this to someone u love!
I've been w him since I was 17 I'm 27 now. Do u think he loves me but isn't in love w me. I feel like I'm constantly down his throat but it's not fair what he does to me! We aren't married either so that makes it easier to keep things from me!!!
@smalls0509,
Have you tried any of the suggestions given to you back in January?
http://able2know.org/topic/263840-1#post-5852447
@smalls0509,
Oh, I am sure he LOVES you - as much as he can.
It's selfish love, but it's all he's got. He loves his porn first.
Is that enough for you for the rest of your life?
@Eliusa,
What? He shows all the signs of being addicted to it. Putting it first, before her.
How? By spending immense amount of time watching it. By trying to turn her on to it and acting like she's distracting him from what he really want to do: watch porn.
Why? He and a shrink need to discover that. But he really doesn't care!
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