I have just tuned in to this one, late, but I am so glad I'm not alone! I am a stay at home mom since my daughter was born in January. And with her and my handsome little 3 year old son, not to mention the biggest baby in the house..my husband, I feel like I will literally snap at any moment! Then I feel so horribly guilty when I should be thanking God everyday. However when my husband start his thing about..."why are you tired you don't have to go to work anymore." or "if it's too much for you, you can go back to work" or "I pay the bills so I have a right not to help you with the kids on my days off"!! It makes me want to go away and let him deal with both of them ALL DAY 24 hours! He doesn't want to let them stay over at either Grandma's "unless he's off to" and he definately doesn't want the baby staying anywhere! We have been on ONE date since she was born for 2 hours. And have not been on vacation since before my 3 year old was born!!! Of course he has his golf and fishing outings, which I admit are not as many as they used to be, but still. Then he wonders and argues about me not coming on to him and being all sexy!! I can't get it through his head that after having a 5 month old drool on you all day and a 3 year old who thinks you're his "jungle gym" all you want is sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND A SHOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my gosh, irishlady,
Your husband is not being fair to you at all!
Have you thought about counselling?
Is there a mother's morning out progam in your area? (Usually run by churches, which is why I avoid them, but you may not have the same aversion).
Yes I have thought about counseling but only for myself, my husband seems to think that he's fine. About 95% of the time he's the best husband and father but that other 5% is hell! That's the main reason I got involved in this, so I would have an outlet for my frustrations. People that are close to me get too pissed to give me real answers. His childhood wasn't the best so maybe he just wants to make sure his kids have it better, which they do, but he seems to take me for granted. I need my special time too. When our son was first born I said something about getting my mother to watch him so we could go out (he was colicky) and was told he didn't need to throw his child off on anyone and if I needed to get out that badly he would watch him. At the time I wanted time for both of us to be together so of course didn't take him up on it. Now I would in a minute but those days don't happen now that I am home all the time. It's funny (not really) but our big arguements are over the children and about sex and he still doesn't get the picture!
Counseling for just you might be good. Counseling for the both of you would be better, but if won't go, oh well...
I'd definitely look into a mother's morning out program.
Tell him it's good socialization for the kids (which it is).
