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Is there still a chance I can get back with my ex boyfriend? We broke up 3 years ago.

Forums: Relationships
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20SomethingYrOld
 
Reply Tue 24 Mar, 2015 07:19 pm
Me and my boyfriend of 6 years broke up three years ago. I'm still in love with him and haven't been able to move on. I had a new boyfriend earlier this year, we were together for 6 months and I just couldn't continue being with someone I wasn't really connecting with. He was sweet and everything, but my heart just didn't allow me to love him. I tried, but no matter how much effort I put into the relationship, It didn't feel right. I kept thinking about my ex... which is crazy considering it's been a little over three years since ive even talked to him.

My brother still talks with him occasionally, and so far my ex hasn't had another girlfriend. I'm wondering if it's a bad idea to try to get in touch with him again? or if I should have my brother kind of pop in to initiate a conversation about me first to find out if my ex even cares about me anymore?

I seriously haven't met anyone that sweeps me off my feet like my ex did. I just miss him... think I should try it? or move on?
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Type: Question • Score: 6 • Views: 510 • Replies: 12

 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Tue 24 Mar, 2015 07:31 pm
@20SomethingYrOld,
1. you and your ex-boyfriend broke up for a reason or a series of reasons. have any of those things changed on your side of equation?

2. leave your brother out of it. completely out of it.
20SomethingYrOld
 
  3  
Reply Tue 24 Mar, 2015 07:36 pm
@ehBeth,
Yeah you're right. I guess some of those things still have changed. im sure they'd come up again. Like his family... they arn't good for him. his sister is a wreck and he's always having to clean up the mess for his family. we constantl had problems because of that. I also don't live near my home anymore. I live about 2 hours away. I guess it really wouldn't make sense to try getting back with him....

just sucks that three years later I still can't get over him. I don't know how to move on.

yea, I won't throw my brother into this... it would be wrong and immature.
ehBeth
 
  4  
Reply Tue 24 Mar, 2015 07:55 pm
@20SomethingYrOld,
do you have a good social circle where you are now?

I often think people are too focused on finding partners instead of expanding their circle of friends.
gungasnake
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 Mar, 2015 08:00 pm
@20SomethingYrOld,
Have you considered just kidnapping the guy?
20SomethingYrOld
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 Mar, 2015 11:54 pm
@gungasnake,
lol!!! wow dont give me ideas now.. Razz haha
0 Replies
 
20SomethingYrOld
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 Mar, 2015 11:57 pm
@ehBeth,
yeah i do... which is the weird thing. i have many friends. Im in school, i have a job. Im someone whos always doing stuff. I just cant seem to meet any guy that keeps my interest, or is better than my boyfriend. like i always compare them to him. i ust cant get over him.... i guess its just a waiting game for now then.. ill have to move on. who knows how long that'll take... !! Sad
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Wed 25 Mar, 2015 05:32 am
@20SomethingYrOld,
It's been three years. You're beyond the moving on stage and into the stop obsessing stage.

Go out and meet more people. Talk to strangers. Go to Meetups. Take a class. Plant a garden. Take up knitting. Join a gym. Learn acting. Volunteer at a nursing home.

In short, shake up your routine and do it in such a way that you are around more people and you develop a wider network of friends and acquaintances.

Don't wait around for magically getting over this guy to happen.

As Gandhi said, be the change you wish to see in the world.
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Wed 25 Mar, 2015 06:53 am
I'd say: CHECK HIM OUT.

It's been 3 years since you've connected with him. Know for sure he's NOT the same guy as you remember.

Either he's better and has grown (i.e. school, career, healthy, taken care of his body and teeth, has a car, home, credit cards, etc.) OR he's trapped in his dysfunctional family's lifestyle/net.

Find out. This is going to bug you for years unless you get this settled in your mind.

Let us know.

Olivier5
 
  2  
Reply Wed 25 Mar, 2015 07:18 am
I's say if you left him just because you didn't like his sister, don't mess with him anymore. People who care for their siblings tend to be good people.
20SomethingYrOld
 
  2  
Reply Wed 25 Mar, 2015 06:47 pm
@jespah,
youre totally right! Smile
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20SomethingYrOld
 
  1  
Reply Wed 25 Mar, 2015 06:48 pm
@PUNKEY,
I really would love to find out. but i guess that'll just cause more harm than good for me... :/
0 Replies
 
20SomethingYrOld
 
  1  
Reply Wed 25 Mar, 2015 06:49 pm
@Olivier5,
lol. na, that wan't the main reason. but yes, he was definitely a good person. Smile
0 Replies
 
 

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