Need advice about my relationship.

You're not going to like what I'm going to say. But I'm going to say it anyway.



If he's your best friend, I'd hate to see how your not so close friends treat/treated you. You also have no basis of comparison. There are other people out there who can and will treat you better.



You're in a position of no power here. You are utterly dependent. This is not a good way to be.



He should have little to no say in the matter. Sure he doesn't want to work, but it should not mean you can't or shouldn't. Someone has to be responsible here. Bills don't magically pay themselves. I bet his mother is dying for him to get off his lazy ass and get a job.



He has no control over what your life was like before you two started dating. Getting mad about that is immature and unrealistic. He is not the center of any universe.



Of course he does, because he's decided that he can do all the things he tells you he can't. Is he still Mr. Wonderful now?



This is the first totally honest thing you've written so far.



Then he's an insensitive asshole. You have no control over your menstruating.



I'm sure she wants him to get off his lazy ass and get a job already.

By the way, where are YOUR parents in this soap opera?



Then leave him. He has no thought for boundaries, and he's proven himself to be kind of creepy and untrustworthy. Should you have gone through his phone? No – you should have just packed up and left. As for the complaints about sex and the threats to break up, he's trying to change the subject.

The subject is HIM invading YOUR privacy.



Yer darn tootin', sistah.

Start by getting out of this toxic situation.

Are your parents alive? If they are, and it's not a dangerous situation with them (e. g. they don't abuse you, they aren't grindingly poor or incarcerated), then go back there. Get a job, earn some money, and get on your feet. You will feel A LOT better about yourself and more confident if you take some control in your life.

If this is overwhelming, then seriously consider counseling.

But first, get out of this bad situation.



Like I said before, he's an asshole. His opinion about the time before you were dating is worthless.



He's an asshole.

Are you sensing a pattern here yet?



This is the only positive thing you've said about this prize so far, and it's so generic as to be utterly meaningless. You could be a homebody and stay and settle with someone a lot kinder.



Imagine how you'll feel when 20 years have gone by, and you've got 2 kids and are 40.

This situation will not get any better.



No, his jealousy does NOT mean that. It means he's a selfish, arrogant asshole who cares a lot less for your feelings and your future than about how he can keep you around.

People who love each other don't do what he's doing.



He also has you isolated, at least in part. Isolating someone from their family can be a prelude to abuse. He certainly takes an axe to your self-esteem any time he can. Has he, perchance, raised a hand to you? Even if he hasn't, it can still be abuse. Abuse can be emotional and verbal.



No, you don't. You just got done saying that he made fun of the bands you like. I suspect he likes whatever and you go along with it, in order to avoid yet another fight.



This is a waste of time. It is not what you deserve.

Go. There are way, way more fish out there in the sea. A lot of them aren't assholes.



Yes, there are plenty of people who do.

They are miserable and they lead lousy, unfulfilling lives.

Don't be one of them any longer.

My parents left me to my grandparents growing up. Abandoned really. My sister talks with me about this. My grandma is a headstrong woman who would flip out if she knew how he really acted behind closed doors. But i think about finishing college while living with her a lot. He's never hit me. I want to grow and be successful I dont have that space to. This is my fault i'm in this situation. I love this person but I don't know how to woman up because when I do i'm a "****" . I never wanted me to be this type of person whos a pushover. Thank you for advice that means so damn much to me because I can't find a listening ear. Or point of direction. I just need to urge out of this situation. And uncling myself. Know my self worth more.

You just got the benefit of a lot of jepah's time and effort.
Believe me. It's precious
Don't be a noob.
Take advantage of it!

Your response was wise.
You'll be fine.

I was so excited that she went into detail with everything i had to vent out w/ a wise response.

Oh, you want us to tell you to leave him.....


Ok, leave him if you want to, you dont need our permission.

Jeepers, I leave to get a coffee yogurt and do some writing and you're back! W00t!

Go visit your grandma. Whether you talk about this or not. Go. And maybe talk to her about getting on your feet, and getting started with your life. It's okay to not know what you want out of life or what you want to be when you grow up, etc. All of that is totally okay. It could be dog sitting or clerical work or being a cashier or a waitress or back to school or whatever but when you start doing things for yourself, you start making money (even if it isn't much), or you go back to learning and you improve yourself, you'll see your self-worth.

Cripes, you're a lot more than this.

...getting a little verklempt here.

Really nice tips

19 year old BOYS are not capable of paying attention to anyone/anything, much less a girl. (although they will spend hours playing video games)

Move on and find an older man.

Now there's a blanket assessment. Some are able to pay attention to a girl, or, as some of us say, a woman.