@bmet,
You both need marriage counseling, and he sounds like he could use a 12-step or other alcohol abuse program.
This is a mess all around. He's getting drunk regularly, and he doesn't respect your boundaries. You end up ratcheting it up to a physical level when he won't stop. He threatens to retaliate in kind and worse. All of this happens in front of your children, who are absorbing lessons like –
- You can get drunk a lot
- When you get drunk, you get to do a lot of nasty things
- When you get drunk, you get to ignore other's feelings and preferences
- When you're bothered by a drunk, you don't pick up and leave the room, you stay and get more abuse
- Escalating to physical violence is dandy
- So are threats
- Nobody feels the need to protect the children from any of these displays
Tickling is a kind of invasive touching. If he had been feeling you up against your wishes (or in public, in front of your children like you were, etc.), then this would feel a lot less ambiguous to you, I bet.
This is a messy situation all around, but you are probably going to find that you have to be the grownup in all of this. That means, potentially, taking your children out of these weekend drinking situations, possibly for long term.
I strongly suggest you consider counseling, possibly
Al-Anon for spouses, if you cannot get him to go to Al-Anon. Because typical, regular drinking behavior, with no respect for others' physical boundaries, should be a big time red flag to you.
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