Drama teacher bully

Reply Tue 10 Mar, 2015 05:39 pm
I don't know were to go to anymore to ask for advice.
So I will try here.

I started acting 3 years ago after meeting an drama teacher when I did a animation course for 2 years. I stopped animation because I felt it wasn't me and I lost my confidence in it manly due to a mean drama teacher. Anyway this actor teacher he is from England and he says he has worked in Harry Potter were he train these kids to act the three main characters but the Producer picked his nephew to be Harry Potter at the end. He also says he worked in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Johnny Deep in it.
So I thought to myself well he must be legit. Everything was fine and I did student short films for practice etc. So I've never been in a professional or some what professional set. So when my drama teacher wrote a script for me to act in. My first year of learning acting. That's when everything just went down hill from there very slowly. It all started with my voice. He said my voice was bad and it needs colour and my accent doesn't work on tv or film. So he gave me voice excises which I did every day. I found my voice box hurting every time I did the voice excises. He told me to say the ABC like 2 hours or hour. Etc. Anyway back to the short film. There was one scene in the short film were you can't hear me very well. The Sounds Man he wasn't good with his Sound. (Because we found out the second time when I was involved in a short film and he was the Sounds Man. ) That he was smoking weed so he was high on the job. My drama teacher picked him to be Sounds Man. Anyway my drama teacher never consider just maybe it was Sounds Man he just blame it all on me and that my voice was bad etc. He never thought maybe there was two factors playing a role in this. 1) my voice 2) sounds man didn't do a good job. He told me in an acting lesson about this and how he went to someone who did a tv series back in the day and they watch this scene were I was talking from that short film. And the guy say oh yes there voice is bad. He also told me months later when he went to England due to family issues he meet Johnny Depp's agent and they say my voice was bad and they never pick me because of my voice but they saw potential.that I can't be model because Im short. ( though I never wanted to be a model in the first place) At the end we used my boyfriend's brother's radio sound recording to do it. My drama teacher was there and I felt so under pressure all words running in my head I wasn't good enough. My drama teacher kept saying do it again. Can't you hear the words you are saying aren't clear. Etc. But what I felt more helpful was my boyfriend and his brother just telling me to keep calm and you can do it. Then my drama teacher told me to stop listening to them and listen to him. At the end the voice over was bad in my view because there was no emotion.He was so focus on the voice being clear that he forgot to direct me through emotion. But at the end he told me to say the words separated. I believe that's why it sounded like a robot. I don't know if he ever picked that up himself. Anyway there were other things such as there was a scene in the short film that was filmed were my dad's lives and the house was a bit run down. And usually you kept those things to yourself if someone house is a bit run down it's just being polite. But my drama teacher told me and others that when they moved the sofa there was a cockroach. That the room we were filming in was damp. That the bed seem to have broken strings. Etc. there were other people older and younger than him that didn't said anything. When I had another acting lesson with him he was saying "Oh I bet everyone got home and wash themselves". Ok so back when we were filming at my dad's place we went over time and everyone needed to go home so they left. (He blame me it was my fault everyone left over time. But I stayed till the end)
He also picked on this girl who was the Production Manager. I recalled when he told her she had a big nose and she looked very offended.
There was also one situation because my boyfriend was filming the short film. After we finish filming I was helping my boyfriend and one other guy in the crew was helping too. To put the camera gear in the car. But then the crew guy left and everyone hop into one car and drove off and left us putting all the camera gear in the car. It was late at night too.

After all this my drama teacher blame me as to why the filming didn't went smoothly.
For example he said to me that the main actor sets the tone of the film set. That it was my fault why everyone left after we filmed over time etc. I felt very bad and guilty.
Though my boyfriend who has directing classes with him as well my acting classes together. He said it was my first some what professional film set the rest I was on was in student films.
Still he didn't take this to account. When we had this mini premier to the short film and he had his speech he did not say thank you to me nor my boyfriend filming. Instead he kept on praising this one supporter actress friend the whole time. Yet he told me in one of my acting classes out of the blue that he wasn't impressed with her acting. So I dunno. But the short film premier wasn't far from his house it was like maybe 20 mins and me and my boyfriend live like over side of the bridge so it be like hour and half to get there. So he asked to be picked up. He has his own car. He has two cars actually. Yet he expects us to pick him up. My boyfriend is a bit of please people. Though he is getting over that now. But yeah and before we watch the short film his wife and kid drove! Over there to watch it!
Then after the short film he asked my boyfriend to drop him off home? Which he did.

He also made fun of my belief system because Im Christian and he is a atheist.
The acting lessons would be mainly about talking about acting and movies than actually acting itself.

He would blame me for that short film every time I went to his acting lesson that I did not want to go to his acting lessons.

Ok so that's one situation. Forward 2 years ahead.

My drama wrote a script for my boyfriend to direct and he put me as main character.
As there was no dialogue accept for the voice over.
Ok so anyway I stopped going to drama classes due to money issues.
So after a long time from not going there we went there to the house to try our costumes on with our costume designer and make up artist.
For some reason it had to be at his house though most of us lived on the other side of the bridge. Anyway when I got there I felt this sense of "not good enough" feeling.
There was one point were my drama teacher who was acting in it too was about to say to these two film crew members how bad my voice is. But quickly I changed the subject.

He also asked that friend who acted in the other short film who acted in this short film too,to pick him up to take him to one of the locations we were filming at. I could tell on her face she didn't want too. She was also acting at the same location anyway.
My drama teacher also demand one of the crew members to pick him up and take him to the location.
He also picked on this poor girl on the film set and it was her first time on any film set. He kept calling her names and saying things. I notice this but said none thing until the lady that was in charge of art department told me about it. I then realise it was the exactly the same behaviour he did with the production manager on the other short film.
The art department lady told me that he is being a pain. Because we were filming in a restaurant so she was making sure that the plates and spoons and etc were continuity for each film shot we take. But he kept missing them up. For example she told me she removed a plate from the table and he went and put the plate back down on the table. She was about to grab it and removed it , but he took it and refused to give it back. Eventually he did. Then he went off to my boyfriend who was directing and said "Hey can I have this plate there"? My boyfriend was busy with other things sorting out shots so he was unaware what was going on. So my boyfriend said "Yes".
In the restaurant we were gonna have a food fight and out of the blue my drama teacher told me he is not going to clean up after the mess. Yet his character is going to create the food fight. And yet he told me in acting classes always help out after messes and stuff. Well he lived up to his word he did not help out to clean up the mess he just left. But one of his acting students who was an extra helped to clean up the mess.
He also interfere telling my boyfriend how to film a shot but my boyfriend already sorted out how to shoot these scenes ages ago. (Also again my drama teacher told us how in the other short film he did not like this one person telling him how to shoot. )
I over heard some of the film crew saying he was a drama queen etc. I think he pisst off a lot of the film crew.

Also just off note.
I was asked to do this audition for this add. I told my drama teacher and he assumed I be ok with it. I learnt my lines. But when it came to the audition everything turn into rubbish. The guy told me I did not said these two words right and that I need a drama teacher. I was thinking but I do go to a drama teacher. I was very upset. I told my drama teacher what happened and he said it was my fault and that I did not learn my lines there no excuse and his "reputation"

My boyfriend was working with him and he rang once to see if he was available to film this one thing. Just him and my boyfriend. No one else. My boyfriend said that his mum is leaving tomorrow to go back overseas. He said to him "well you have to make a decision or I will get someone else". My boyfriend ended up going to work on the day his mum went back overseas. I told my mum who has been charged over 50 staff at work and she thought couldn't the drama teacher work something out? But no.

I spoke to a few people who are currently working with him.
One of the stories they told me was that his behaviour on set is toxic that his teaching style of acting is for little kids. There was one of them who came overseas to work as an actor they had no were to stayed. So they stayed at his house. They said they were treated like nanny to look after his son while he went off with his wife to go out. They said how they had dinner together because his wife thought it would be nice. Then he begin to question there belief because they are Christian and question them to because bisexual. They said they could not have a word in to defend themselves. They said the next day they cry on film set and they move out and flat some were else.

I saw his showreel last year. His showreel is terrible!
If I saw his showreel at the beginning I would of not have worked with him or be my drama teacher.

I got rid of him as a friend off Facebook because I didn't want to see him anymore because it hurt too much. He sent me a friend request and sent me a private message as to why I got rid of him as a friend off Facebook. I think he is unaware of his behaviour.

So yeah there you have it. I feel like I can't do my acting anymore. I feel like Im not good enough. Because anything I do there is always going to be something wrong.
I feel like I can't move on from this and I want to.
I want to act again
I want to let go of this pain.
But I don't know how

Any advice or views?
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Reply Tue 10 Mar, 2015 06:48 pm
My ex husband (now longtime friends, after a bit of time between long marriage and after) was a drama major at a local big city university; when I met him, he was in an MFA Drama program and also part of a group of actors who were trying to get known in small theater. I met him because that group sublet part of our large leased art studio /gallery space so they could put on plays every couple of months. He was also busy writing plays, and still does that several decades later.

Mmm, as an actor, he was a little stiff re his gestures, which of course he knew, but he had (has) a really good voice, and really good brain. His plays did get performed at the univ stage. We became lovers, bought a house together, and so I was with him many times going out for beers or having people in that theater company to our house for talking sprees... me mostly silent as they were a bunch of enthusiastic talkers. And talk about drama at the dining table! I was the cook and listener, he did the dishes, sometimes quite late in early morning.

My point? They discussed the pros and cons of everything from teachers to playwrights to literature, their own lives and the pros and cons of their own lives. They did talk of teachers, directors, and yes, the sound people, griping at length sometimes.

My advice is to listen to yourself. Get away from that one bully and don't gnaw the wood on your desk. Move along.

Reply Tue 10 Mar, 2015 07:14 pm
Another story:

I've a friend I met in architecture school who could sail rings around most anyone for her creativity level - multi talented woman. Also, beautiful and bright at the same time. She had a disability, very major scoliosis (hunchback). Her mother treated her ill, apparently rejected her as a baby, stories that chilled me but that I don't remember precisely as she told them vaguely. Her brother stood up for her. Anyway, years before I met her, she studied in the east at a major acting school. I remember the main guy's name but I'll leave it out. That was really good for her, sense of self and much else. Later she did costume design and had, in another state, a clothing design shop. She married a great guy, also an artist. I liked him a lot, in a friend way; I liked them together, what a combo. He died one night, hidden heart condition. Grief.
She went on. I last saw her about five years ago; she has been teaching different arts and crafts and doing her own art.

So - another hang in there story.
Reply Tue 10 Mar, 2015 07:29 pm
Thank you. I just felted he brain washed me.
My boyfriend still works for him for this show they are doing.
So it's kinda hard to forget. Though my boyfriend is keeping his distance.
Reply Wed 11 Mar, 2015 12:55 am
My point is, respect yourself.
Reply Wed 11 Mar, 2015 02:32 am
I don't respect myself?
Reply Wed 25 Mar, 2015 02:17 pm
I feel like I can't do my acting anymore. I feel like Im not good enough. Because anything I do there is always going to be something wrong.

Those words don't indicate much self-esteem or self-respect.
Reply Thu 26 Mar, 2015 10:13 pm
Yeah I know
Reply Fri 27 Mar, 2015 07:39 am
You can help yourself by changing your thinking...by not allowing other opinions to carry so much weight in your head. Building your self-esteem doesn't happen overnight. First step is to become aware of the thoughts and feelings of inadequacy.
Reply Sat 28 Mar, 2015 03:59 pm
How do I not let people opinions carry so much weight on me?
Reply Sat 19 Dec, 2015 02:33 pm
I think we have to distinguish schoolyard bullies and tough coaches or teachers. My son had a seemingly scary coach in basketball. Unlike other sports, you can see and hear a coach yell and as a parent I saw it a lot.

Yet he was a nice man. He did not keep a grudge and once he yelled game 1, he evaluated everyone fairly in game 2. Now, my son handles pressure as well as anyone.

So sometimes tough teachers or coaches are trying to push you so I cannot always call them bullies. Read the Last Lessons, a wonderful book about a man who died too early. One day, his football coach was screaming at him for doing something wrong. Later the assistant coach came over and said, Coach was pretty tough on you today. Son, you have to worry when they don't yell, because that means they no longer care.
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