Reply Tue 3 Mar, 2015 02:40 pm
In my previous post I mentioned a guy I had a thing for but he had a girlfriend. well be broke it off with me, wont look at me or talk to me anymore, and ive been abandoned so many times before Its just that feeling of finally being wanted getting ripped away again sent me in a spiral of bad things happening. I havent eaten anything since Febuary 20th, and ive lost 20 lbs, and im irritable, angry, no energy, and everytime that i grab onto something, sometimes the grip in my hands or arms will randomly give out, and ill drop it. im cold, sad, and angry at myself for even getting involved in the first place, i keep thinking "if i was thinner, If i was better, if i had just stayed away...blah blah . I hate myself, always have. I just want it to stop. everything to disapear. I dont want to feel abandoned again. life just brings that around every turn. whats the point??? Live to die? thats it. Im sick and tired of it. I knew it from the age of 5, im 18 now. happiness is temporary and always leaves no matter what. I sit in my room all day, Ive driven my friends, and people i care about away, I basically go to work, sit in my room, cry, drink, adn think of every possible thing thats wrong with me and that I could have done to change it but never actually have. Whats wrong with me? WHy cant I be like other girls? Why cant I be happy? Why am I so incapable of loving myself? I feel sick, i feel sad, i feel numb. I dont care anymore.
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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 1,073 • Replies: 4
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dalehileman
 
  0  
Reply Tue 3 Mar, 2015 03:17 pm
@xmistery,
Hang in there Tery, I'm planning an op that will banish everywhere all anxiety and depression, which might reform ISIS and stop all future wars
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jespah
 
  2  
Reply Tue 3 Mar, 2015 04:54 pm
@xmistery,
I think you need to talk to a professional. This will help you to get some perspective about this guy, and about when you feel the way you currently do.

I urge you to get the help you need. You deserve to be happy.
xmistery
 
  1  
Reply Wed 4 Mar, 2015 12:48 am
@jespah,
The funny thing is I have, They all tell me, to breathe, and think about it, and say its in my head. They stopped giving me medication, appointments, everything, they gave up on me, so I should too right? Theres no fixing me. Im sick. Ive tried suicide a number of times, and non work. nothing works. I dont work. Do you have any idea how it feels to be a stranger in your own body? To not match fully? to just hate yourself so wholeheartedly that its just a norm, to have everyone give up on you because theres no changing you? it hurts, and you have to put on a smile, when all you want to do is cry.
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Wed 4 Mar, 2015 07:58 am
@xmistery,
Then you need to get another doctor. Your current setup is failing you.
0 Replies
 
 

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