wife cheated and has been having an affair with a different guy

"The house she's living at" ...? Does that mean you currently don't share a home, and you are deployed or something?

I'm guessing it means he has moved out. I think the OP needs to see a lawyer. I'm sorry, but the fact that she is waffling in making a choice would be enough for me to walk away. If it is that difficult a decision, then I'd make it for her.

That's probably true (I need more coffee). And I agree; there's nothing like filing for divorce when it comes to get people to **** or get off the pot.

Yeah, it makes it so much harder when there's kids involved. but why is it that it's only one partner sometimes that sees it that way?

Different guy? Different than whom? The last guy she had an affair with?

No, im staying in my truck at work for the time being. No money to get my own place.

Well, i caught her with a guy she met at a bar at her friends having sex on the couch. An hour later she told me in person that shes been having a affair with a man "other than the one i caught her with", for 11 months.

Oh, man.

You need a lawyer. Yesterday.

She is stringing you along in order to get you to pay her bills.

Go back to your house and take care of your kids, or have someone else take care of them and throw your wife out of the house. Unfortunately, you got married too young and had 2 kids too soon. Your wife wants to live like a single person without responsibilities. Give her the freedom to do so, but on her
own Dollar.
Take care of your kids and yourself, never mind your wife - she's a goner!
She doesn't want to work on her marriage that's for sure. Don't be a fool, get her out and go see a lawyer.

Dude. With all due respect, I ask you to think about the bare-bones facts here. She's been cheating on you. You're paying the bills. And you're the one who moved out. Seriously. I do have sympathy for your situation, but consider getting your balls back from her first. Then tell her to get out and find a place to sleep. Sounds like she's already got two options, one of which she's secretly had for the past 11 months.

You really need to get out of that truck and back under the roof. I understand she's humiliating you, or at least trying, but if you don't get back in, she keeps the house, you wind up paying child support and continue living in your car. See if there is a legal aid office available in your area, get sound legal advice and get out of that truck. Good luck

PS Move back in and make her sleep on the couch

I understand where everyones coming from. I just want my family back! I have no one here to help me, friends or family! Am i wrong for doing what she tells me to do and wait it out? I checked with my lawyer and he says theres nothing he could do to help me get under my roof again until we go to court. I would love to see both my boys but everytime i come around she acts like i want nothing to do with them or her. Im completely hopeless because of the entire situation.

Does she have a restraining order? Is her name on the lease (or whatever you have)? What's keeping you, the rent-payer, from going back to the house you're paying for and telling her to find somewhere else to sleep? Has there been a court ruling that gives her custody of the kids?

Both of our names are on the lease. She doesnt have anything as far as court ordered on me that i know of. I know the locks are changed because i went back to grab some clothes and the lock were different.

Ah, OK. Well, if both your names are on the lease, I don't see how she has a legal right to block you from free access to it without something like a restraining order. (If she'd taken on out on you, you'd know it. It would have been delivered to you personally.)

I understand that you don't want to burn bridges, but it looks like she may have already made up her mind to do so by locking you out. I have to say that it looks pretty strongly like what somebody posted above is true, that she's stringing you along by making you believe that there's still a chance, while she's getting her escape route set up for a soft landing, regardless of how much hardship you're going through in the meantime. I mean, if she were actually still in the decision-making process, why would she lock you out? (Unless you'd been showing up and creating conflict, I guess.)

Anyway, I'm just a random guy on the internet. No expertise or special insight claimed here. Best of luck to you both/all, whatever turns out to be the case.

If both your names are on the lease, talk to your landlord. Your landlord (in most states -- I can't comment on all of them) needs to have reasonable access in order to perform maintenance and show apartments.

If your landlord doesn't have a key to the new locks, then she is potentially in breach of lease. Either way, it is reasonable access for you to be able to get in and get your stuff.

Talk to your lawyer again and ask him or her to push on the landlord/tenant angle. This is very, very fishy. Your wife is potentially doing what's called converting your possessions. It also sounds like you are being denied access to your children. Your lawyer needs to start aggressively going after these issues as they are becoming part of the domestic issues that are also going on.

Push your lawyer to get tough. You have rights in this matter.

The time for being forgiving or passive is over. You have no choice anymore but to play hardball and hire a lawyer. Follow what Jespah has written.

Living in your car or sleeping at work is no way to live. Time to assert your legal rights. you need to do this so you don't lose the ground you deserve...family visits as well as your own property. A lawyer will get this going pretty quickly.

I also urge you to follow jespah's advise. The longer you wait to see your boys the more estranged you get. You cannot have your family back - forget that, your wife has no interest in staying with you, she just needs you to pay for everything.
Looks like the lawyer you're having now isn't exactly working in your favor, if needed, switch lawyers and start divorce proceedings so you can have court appointed visitations with your children. This should be your main focus right now: your children!!

I agree with all the respondents. Strongly.