How to understand What is going on with a girl and The way she expreses to me...

Work on your marriage and stop trying to read meaning into off the cuff ambiguous texts from a coworker who is also supposed to be committed to someone other than you.

Good point! Im working on It. But let me tell you as good guy that I consider myself, WOW how difficult it is to desguise The real feeling. But I did appreciate your thoughts. I Think is The same I Will answer to anyone in my situation. Nevertheless, there is an inestable environment around me at home and believe me that I will continue trying to fix things. The feelings are strong not to get in nothing serious but I know for sure something serious or bad could happen. That's why I need your thoughts! Thanks!

The feelings are strong not to get in nothing serious but I know for sure something serious or bad could happen???

This is very confusing.
Is it
The feelings are strong
or
The feelings are strong not to get in nothing serious ?
And how is it
I know for sure something serious or bad could happen???
IF
The feelings are strong not to get in nothing serious ?

Sorry Eliusa if I dont express myself clear, my primary language is not English. What I meant to say is that I don't have a stable marriage eventhough I've been trying for along time with my wife, and I'm still trying. In the past the same situation revolve us but with my wife. She was honest with me but really her affair affect me a lot and I kept my promise not to bring the topic and forget what happens. I didn't want to bring this kind of thing cause as you know people get cruel and I want to kept the issue only on the present situation. So now you know that I still want to continue as a normal guy on a marriage with this little incident that affect us. Time has passed, but for me very difficult.

What I'm trying to said is that I don't want to use as an excuse the problem that happened, I'm attrack to that girl which I think is flirting with me a lot and I avoid her but lately my feelings are confused if should I go for the feelings or should I stay fighting my marriage issue. Remember that this kind of conflict are not that easily to forget and eventhought I treat her with respect and love(my wife) I'm also a human being. Something bad could happen because the way I see it it only lead to an affair, but a really dangerous one. I'm clear on that. Im really confused and I'm totally honest in what I said right now. Also know that nothing serious will happen. Odds are against me. I'm married she's engaged. This kind of things are very difficult to digest. Perhaps the topic will help to clarify what is going to my mind taking in consideration revenge is not something that appear on my thoughts. Just the way that I feel.

I do appreciate your comment.

What is the benefit to you in staying in your marriage? can you be happy with your wife? do you love her? did you love her?

If there are good reasons for you to stay in the marriage, try to stay focused on making a success of the marriage.

Yes, I do love Her. She's a very understanding woman and reasonable one. When things went bad on her side(her affair) she said to me that her depression about not getting a job and economical situation collapse at home, Lead her to Dis what she made. My issue is not with her anymore its just that Ive been looking and trying a lot. Longest battle that I had to deal in my life with as an emotional human being.

Two years as gone by. I'm a responsable good guy, please do not avoid this thing. Right now I don't feel like a good guy thinking about her and our relation as a friend with possible benefits. That's why I'm here.

Thanks ehbeth for taking of your valuable time to get in my situation.

What do you and your wife do together to be happy? do you take walks? garden? do sports?

Walk, running, cook, garden, laundry, financial bookkepping, vacations you name It! Like I mentioned before, probably my thoughts came upon the feel that I had spent incountable hours trying to figure it out what when wrong when our situation happened. More than that I spent more than that trying to convince myself that it not gonna happen again which I know for sure will not. But my hell begins with the thought that I work hard not to fall for this person and eventhought I was sure that, I think I start to fall for her. We don't txt or talk outside working hours, we don't plan on doing anything on the weekend, neither I look for her in free hours, just the thing that every time I see her it's like a quemical reaction between both of us. I'm not sure if you understand in part my feelings but I will try as hard as I've been doing since I tied myself in marriage. I'm scared you know! I've been as honest as I could but really I'm scared that I can't control myself. I'm a man, but I do understand what you could think about me. Be unfaithful with my wife? Not an option...just that there is this little bug inside me convinced that I should turn to the dark side of the force. Just kidding! Thanks for you concern.

Bookkeeping with your wife makes you both happy?

I guess that's possible, but sounds a bit odd.

I can understand that if things are difficult you would start to appreciate non-stressful attention from someone else.

My darling, do you understand this 'girl' is engaged and flirting with you?
She had not even had time to be married and get sick of it?
I am the last person to judge but I can understand anything.
However being engaged and flirting is not even ok in MY book.

Are you sure you aren't looking for revenge to your wife for her affair?
Not that is anything wrong with that...
If it is going to make you feel better - I don't see why can't you have it.

It will make things weirder thought for you. Do you tell her or not?
Do you make her understand that you can be wanted as well?
What do you think?

And what is this 'girl' doing to you? Is she really want to have sex
or just singing her swan song before marriage trying to see if she
'got it' still? What is it?

Bookkeping= out finance. Sorry if I confuse What I was Trying to say.

Alright Eliusa,

Last night I was in a show, performance. I have an important rol@job which is in the Finance area but I'm also a great musician. With all good advices here I took part of the afternoon and evening to reconsider the situation and put in order my things. Not totally sure but decided to find a way to put an end to something that it hasn't started yet. Decided just to explain to her (if she call), my position and her position, I received her call around 1:00am. I think this call was the first mistake in the process. We talk, and talk and talk and talk. I'm going to answer all your question as honest as I am, so you can evaluate for yourself:

To start let me tell you that I'm really attracted to this woman.
She's engaged as you know. She explain to me that her relation is good because the guy want to go for it but she doesn't feel any spark or passion in anything. As far as I know a few months ago she was having a very difficult economic situation. This guy help her and she feel that he is committed but the way She see it is that she owe him.

I'm totally Sure that I'm not looking for A revenge I don't feel angry with her. In fact I never plan in do any harm to my wife in this way, nevertheless I'm doing a great deal of harm. Since Revenge is not on my list, I don't know if this is gonna make me feel better. I like her.

She's and of course. My wife and I, talked a lot in the past regarding my side and she is totally aware that could happen. Not that I was looking for it but it could happen. In my opinion Eliusa is not right what I'm doing, I just I feel different In a good way.

She's she wanted to have sex with me madly, but not only this, we just met two years ago when she started to work at our office. She said she was feeling different since she met me. The first time she saw me she felt like attraction at first sight. With time she reassure what she felt.

So whats next? You have got to make some moves, she is about to be married!

What is next?

Well, today at work It seems like a normal day but There was this one little thing that happened. At lunch hour, she usually go out. Today Like always I stay at lunch an for my surprise she was there, looking for an excuse to be alone with me. She was Talking like a young teenager who fall in love for the first time. I talk calmly with her and try to define her feelings. I think she's madly in love with me so I'm doomed. I don't know what's next. I will keep trying of course against my will trying to avoid anything that could lead to a more close relation.
I'm scared and think that way because I never want it to believe that something like that could happen to me and more than that what's going in my mind and thoughts. Thanks!

P.s. She's commited to this guy, but the only attachment she feel is that this guy help her. There's no wedding in the near future. Neither they have plans to move on together.

So are you ready to leave your wife for her?