my husband has horrible hygiene and I cant bring myself to be sexually attracted to him anymore.

@izzythepush,

Good one.

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@brandolablue,

I was in a similar situation. When my husband returned home after 14-hour work, he smelt like... Of course, I didn't like it. When I started talking about it with him, he was irritated and didn't want to talk to me. We also faced a problem in bed because of this. When he noticed I didn't want to have sex anymore, he was surprised, but I was honest and explained him the real reason again. I should say, we agrued several times, but finally he understood me. Now he knows that he should take shower, brush teeth and shave before having sex with me. Personally I think that if he doesn't do this not only for himself, but also for me, he doesn't respect both of us. To sum it up, I wish you good luck, and my advice is to communicate again and again. If it doesn't work, visit a doctor.

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@brandolablue,

There is nothing you can do about it. Just keep him.

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@brandolablue,

Sheesh! My relationship is also like that and what I usually do is instead of telling her directly (about how she smells and that she has some dirt on her teeth), I will tell it to her as a joke. Like, hey, have you brushed your teeth already? Have you changed your clothes? I think I smell something off here, I think it is your hair.. Eventually, she got conscious with herself and now she always want to go to salon, check his teeth and became vain.

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@brandolablue,

My goodness!!
Have you ever thought of spoiling him .. creating a relaxing evening for him and getting his ass in the tub and scrubbing him down as his treat of course. Some tlc from his loving partner is always healthy.

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please consult your doctor.

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@brandolablue,

brandolablue wrote:

If he doesnt have crust on the corners of his mouth hes got clumps of snot crusted on the outside corner of his nose. Or his hair is greasy or his hat smells strongly of BO. or he smells like ass (because his chair is fake leather and it holds in moisture and his area sweats all day)

Im trying to not over exaggerate any of those examples. Its seriously all i notice about him. we're married (happily) and Im not sexually attracted to him at all anymore because this every-day image is burned into my mind. I cant kiss him without thinking there might be something on his mouth, or hold him without smelling his ass BO.

He is funny, sweet and smart... his IQ is a 130 and hes a great person overall but gets super offended when I bring any of this up because honestly I have a lot of emotional issues that he handles very respectfully and logically.

so yeah someone? can I get any kind of advice about how to handle this? I honestly wish I could simply ignore it but unless i get super drunk to the point of not noticing I dont want to bang my own husband. advice please?

I'd need to know him before I can give any advice. There are several things I can suggest but without knowing him and his emotional status it would not be prudent to say too much. I guess the first thing to consider is if such a subject can be approached "head on" or by a parallel or back door approach. Only you can know that. Let me know and I will give you my opinion.

I have been told that I snore terribly. I know it must be true because in dormitory circumstances people have got very angry with me and changed rooms. I ask my wife about it every now and then and she says she doesn't notice it much. I figure she's either deaf or she doesn't want to hurt my feelings and thinks I am worth it.

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@Forombity,

Forombity wrote:

Sheesh! My relationship is also like that and what I usually do is instead of telling her directly (about how she smells and that she has some dirt on her teeth), I will tell it to her as a joke. Like, hey, have you brushed your teeth already? Have you changed your clothes? I think I smell something off here, I think it is your hair.. Eventually, she got conscious with herself and now she always want to go to salon, check his teeth and became vain.

Who gave you a -2 for your response? And why? I am new here and it looks like a very unfriendly place.

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@brandolablue,

Oh bless your heart! I hate to hear this. That would definitely be a major turnoff. I wouldn't think he would expect you to be attracted to him physically. Others have mentioned depression, maybe he does need to see a doctor.

I don't think you should feel obligated to sleep with him in this condition. I'm glad that you have tried to be honest with him. Apparently it isn't sinking in at all.

I think some people get immune to their own smells. He may not even realize it. Would be nice if someone else would mention it to him. I know it's like pulling teeth to get men to the doctor. I'm not much help but just wanted to attempt being supportive. I know when I signed up for this site yesterday I was desperate for anyone to offer me advice.

You shouldn't have to be drunk to make love to your husband. I hope he realizes his problem soon!

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@brandolablue,

brandolablue, It may be a mental decline of some sort, perhaps a medical check up might be a good idea if he is willing to go. Another thing is, a book called Marriage SOS by: Debra Macleod. It mentions hygiene as one of the important elements of a good marriage. Best wishes to you.

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@brandolablue,

Get an attorney. Or, you should tell him to shower before sex.

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@Butrflynet,

Totally agree with you, very good advice

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@Mrknowspeople,

Mrknowspeople wrote:

Get an attorney. Or, you should tell him to shower before sex.

Well it has been over 7 years since this thread started one would hope he's showered by now. Cool

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@jcboy,

Well, he either showered or turned into something green on the side of the wall somewhere.

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@brandolablue,

Give your husband a sincere advice.

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@brandolablue,

Have you tried talking to him about it? Maybe he's depressed or stressed out? It seems to me that you need to find the cause of your husband's poor hygiene. After all, before you had no claims against him in this regard, right?

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@brandolablue,

I am not reading your gross description. Get a counselor who will agree to make these terrible evaluations for you. Then tell him he has to go to couples counseling where your counselor will do all the stuff you just did for us.

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my husband has horrible hygiene and I cant bring myself to be sexually attracted to him anymore.

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