Reply
Tue 27 Jan, 2015 03:09 pm
Hello guys, I was wondering some stuff...
First of all, I am gay, and I've been dating this guy for 1 year and 2 months,
but we never seen each other, we are saving money for do that in July.
The question is, recently I found out his facebook password, and I know is terrible wrong trespassing his privacy but I couldnt help me and I logged in.
Well, in his inbox messages, there were nothing worry about, only a FEW conversations with female friends and everything right, nothing unsual.
His activity log perfect as well, he doesnt like other men Pictures nor comment.
He only send friendship invitations to his work buddies(women and men).
However, I could notice that he search for one guy between
December 1 and December 12 7 times. I mean, he searched for him and
at the last search he added him as friend.
I asked him, who he was and he told it was just a work buddy and there was nothing to worry about. I mean, there is no conversations between them, no likes, no comments, nothing. He just searched for him those 7 times, and now we are on January 27 and he never searched for himanymore after he added him as a facebook friend.
I believe if he was stalking this guy, he would search for him more times after he added him, so he could have acess to all his picture, instead of online a few profile ones and pictures with friends. But he didn't, he just added him and never searched for him anymore.
I know, I did wrong looking for those things, but what are you guys opinions about that?
@lalacombat,
You're a terrible snoop and you have trust issues. Not something a healthy relationship needs. In my book, you're done, history! All the time you spend on someone who is added to a fb account all the while you were told it's a work buddy only, makes me believe that your own personal insecurities will haunt you to no end. Go into counseling, get rid of your insecurities and then opt for a healthy relationship that is based on mutual respect and mutual trust.
Good luck!
@CalamityJane,
I agree with everything you said and I am aware of that.
However, the ''distance issue'' makes me feel more insecure. I mean, he never did anything to hurt me, he doesnt go out often, dont club, spend most of his free time with me and I still search for those things
You haven't met him in person, and you are dating? You are talking and it may lead to something or may not.
I know it can go fast after meeting, for better or worse. It can also not work out at all. Or be middling and eventually work.
The snooping is tacky, unless he tells you he likes it.
@ossobuco,
Sorry bro, I couldnt understand your reply!
Could you repeat with other words?
Thanks!
@lalacombat,
lalacombat wrote:
I agree with everything you said and I am aware of that.
However, the ''distance issue'' makes me feel more insecure. I mean, he never did anything to hurt me, he doesnt go out often, dont club, spend most of his free time with me and I still search for those things
Listen to what you said: he doesn't go out often, doesn't club and spends most of his free time with you. So clearly it's YOU and not him! So, you have to find out why you feel that way. Why do you have these trust issues? Is it really only the long distance?
@lalacombat,
Quote:I know is terrible wrong trespassing his privacy but I couldnt help me and I logged in.
Yes, you could help it - you're an adult! Your behaviour is much more worrying than this guy searching for a friend on facebook. I can't believe he hasn't dumped you already.
@lalacombat,
OK, I'll break it down.
You haven't met him in person, and you are dating? You are talking and it may lead to something or may not.
Maybe you are having sex and joy by phone but you haven't actually met him, then will meet in July and spend, say, three weeks on some vacation catching trains and dealing with each other. I know several people who met online and ended up together so I am not dumping on it, but most of those have gone through tempests in regard to expectations and real life, so
I know it can go fast after meeting, for better or worse. It can also not work out at all. Or be middling and eventually work.
This seems clear enough to me -
The snooping is tacky, unless he tells you he likes it.
I'm a woman, not a bro.
@ossobuco,
I understand your point! Sorry about the ''bro'' I didnt notice you were a lady.
I am gonna wait till july then, lets see who things gonna happen
@lalacombat,
S'ok. I understand your thinking, just trying to be clear.
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