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what to do?

 
 
naria
 
Reply Sat 24 Jan, 2015 12:06 pm
So... I really don't know what to do...
Me and my friend have known each other for more than a year now, we go to the same school and we're kind of best friends and everything... But it all started when we first made out and then a few months passed and then we made out again but in the meantime he had two or three girls he made out with too ... And here comes the confusing part... We made out a few times since then and things got quite serious and none of us are in a relationship and we're best friends and all that. But I guess he doesn't want a relationship with me even when we get along so well with each other- And when I'm with other guys he's jealous and when I see him with other girls I get jealous too.. But I just don't know I mean I've been dropping hints here and there for a relationship and we're continuing to be friends with benefits (well not real friends with benefits since we dont sleep with each other even when he wanted to a few times but things do get quite serious every time) but it's just I want more out of this but he doesn't want anyone to know what we have.. This has been going on for a few months and a lot of times when I was just about to give up on him he pulled me back and I just don't know what to do anymore... My friends are telling me to ask him what I mean to him and I know that he likes me he told me so himself... we fight a lot but it seems we can't stay mad or without each other for a long time... But lately I've started to return the ''I don't want anyone to know'' attitude and he got really mad about it and I've started to distance myself from him and it's very hard but I got a little reaction from him so I guess that's not bad huh? Also we have the same friends and my best friends always tease us how cute we are together and sometimes he gets all awkward about it so I told my girls to stop saying things like that and he told me the last time we fought that just as he thought that I trusted him I've started to distance myself... But he cares a lot for me and I for him he told me so and I know that he means it...
I just don't know what to do right now.. Should I continue this or should just drop it? Thoughts ?
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sat 24 Jan, 2015 12:29 pm
@naria,
So, let's see - you -
  1. Occasionally kiss and fondle/are fondled by this guy (unless you have some other definition of 'making out')
  2. But you both stop it
  3. You don't date
  4. But you're pals
  5. When you try to date other people, this guy gets jealous
  6. When he tries to date other people, you get jealous
  7. You are hoping that magical hint-dropping will help him to see the light
  8. And he doesn't want anyone to know about your making out

Honey, except for the no-sex thing, he's got it good. You are wrapped around his little finger. You are available in case he wants to kiss, etc. You jump back in line if you date someone else and he get jealous.

He doesn't have to spend a dime on you, or introduce you to his parents, or possibly lose his fooling around time with other girls.

As for the no sex thing, I bet he doesn't want that to last for much longer.

So, what to do - if you really want things to change, you can always tell him that you only kiss people who are unashamed of you. People who will go on dates with you, and not just mess around. People who will be public about their status with you.

He may balk. In fact, I can pretty well guarantee that he will. And then you will see where you really stand with him. #8 on my list is huge. You're right to be concerned about it.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Jan, 2015 12:40 pm
@naria,
naria wrote:
he doesn't want anyone to know what we have.


I'm with Jes on being concerned about this.

If he doesn't want to actually go out with/date you, I'm not sure why you're spending time with him - unless you're cool with making out with someone who doesn't really want to go public with being with you.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Jan, 2015 12:41 pm
@naria,
Have you asked him out on an actual date?
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Jan, 2015 12:42 pm
@naria,
naria wrote:
I mean I've been dropping hints here and there for a relationship


ask him out

you'll find out soon enough how things are
0 Replies
 
 

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