Having problems getting a girl.. >_<

Be cool, witty and charming. Gals always fall for that. Works for me!

Be patient and upbeat and keep trying and it'll happen and it''ll be special...I remember my first......I saved the receipt...

JNFILE

A very good starting point is to like yourself & act like you do.

"You better believe I'm in love with my self my self....my beautiful self"

Johnny Rotten

words to live by.....

I wouldn't take things to that extreme, JNFILE.

Stalk her day and night. send her letters, but don't sign them, stare at her intensely every chance you get, get her name tattooed on your forehead, and be sure to not bathe more than once a week.

If that doesn't work, nothing will.

I had no idea that you and Slappy had so much in common, McG.

Tell her you like her shoes.

Getting a girl isn't really that hard if you just be yourself, and put on some confidence. Getting rid of a girl is worse, and can be way more expensive than dinner and a movie.

This man has got the right idea!
Women (and men) like flattery. Don't be too generous though, or you'll look like a creep. Women also seem to like men to ask them questions about themselves. Listening and remembering the answers is also recommended. Remember to laugh at their jokes, and look her in the eyes and smile. Mainly, like the man above said, be yourself.

Now if they start going into a long tirade about their ex, or exes on a date with you, run my man, run!

I think it best that the ladies answer this post. Ladies - what sort of lines do you find irresistable?

Jnfile--

Ignore most of the men on this topic--their own insecurities may be showing.

First: You can't choose your looks, but you can be well groomed.

Second: A girl/woman is not going to want to go out with a guy that she's just met. She's going to want to get to know something about you before she commits herself for an evening.

This is where conversation comes in. The Weather is a hoary old reliable, but no one comes across as wacko if you start with the weather. Move from "Hot isn't it?" to "Are you more of a winter person?....Do you like winter sports?.... I play _____. (Or, I'm not much of a jock. Do you play sports? .....

If the weather is wet, talk about what's been cancelled....or floods...or dry spells.....

For every statement you make about yourself, ask her a question.

Third: I don't mean to sound snide, but just what do you want a girlfriend for? Most women can tell whether a guy is after companionship or sex and most women don't want to be instant mattresses.

Fourth: Do some homework. Don't head out for an evening with out at least three things to talk about besides the weather. Check newspaper headlines or watch the 6 o'clock news. Keep your eyes out for colorful bits of human (or animal nature).

For example: Reagan's funeral....politics....would she drive to D.C. just to walk past a coffin....Alzheimer's....stem cell research.....

Fifth: Your lack of experience has made you very diffident and uncertain. Tell yourself that you aren't very skilled at the Dating Game....YET. Then take the next six month for practice. Don't expect anything to happen from any single encounter....it's just practice.

Let us know how you're doing.

I have to be honest. Go with Noddy on this one.

Noddy's given you some good stuff. I think this is an important part.



Statement-segue-question is a time tested tactic to keep conversation flowing. Not just for flirting but in general.

Maintaining a conversation greatly increases your chances of getting to know someone which greatly increases your chances of dating.

One suggestion I'd give is to practice initiating and sustaining short conversations with strangers in general, not just possible dates.

Practice talking to people. Practice breaking the ice. Practice in elevators and places where you are just talking, not after anything.

If you can become more comfortable being extroverted and initiating conversation it will help you, and practicing with people you are not seeking dates with can help get you ready and make you less nervous when you are flirting.

JNFILE, I'm going to go ahead and assume you are shy and tend to clam up when in the presence of attractive women. If you haven't set your standards to an unreachable plateau, success is inevitable. I've seen a lot of men of various ages struggle with first encounters and frankly it is silly. When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose. It matters little what you say; say something. Every single time you encounter an attractive woman. With an abysmal closing ratio of 1 in 20, you can still score this week if you go to places where you'll encounter 20 eligible candidates. No one is watching you and your fear of looking like a loser is your own. Pretend she is that unattractive middle age woman type that you are so good at charming.

First and foremost, she just wants to know you're not a creep, so carry yourself in a matter-of-fact kind of way. It is a rare woman who isn't flattered by an interested man so don't fear rejection. She may already have a man or other legitimate reason for saying no, so don't read anything into rejection. It's no big deal. Typically, you'll want to open with some situational commentary so it doesn't sound rehearsed. As Noddy said, weather will suffice if nothing else springs to mind. When I'm drawing a blank, I simply say Hola!… If she responds in kind I move to light conversation. If she ignores me or gives me a funny or disapproving look, I lean forward and, in a conspiratorial tone inform her that that means hello in Spanish (since everyone knows this already, it generally evokes a smile if not a laugh, especially with Latinas). Those crucial seconds between initial contact and conversation are your opportunity to show you are not a sissy. Women, especially attractive women, usually don't respond well to sissies. Sometimes they'll ignore you or give you a piercing look of disdain just to test you're manhood and see if you're crushed. Don't be. Understand, attractive women are hit on constantly so they have to develop subtle tests to see if you are worth their time. Those who fear rejection are generally regarded as weak and therefore unattractive.

If I'm guessing right, and shyness is your problem, you can overcome it quickly and easily. Craven is dead right about the value of practice. Go down to the mall or the beach or someplace you know you'll see lots of attractive strangers and say hello to every single woman that passes you by. This is the quickest way I can think of to overcome a fear of rejection. After being ignored by 5, 10 or 50 woman you will no doubt strike up a conversation with a few and realize that the other's rejections didn't diminish you in any way. Think of it like a sales job. Every time you here the word no, you are that much closer to hearing the word yes. The most important factor is simply manning up and trying. J. Paul Getty once said "more money is lost through indecision than bad decisions". This is true of dating as well. If you don't say something, you have no shot at all.

While it will certainly help to make yourself as presentable as possible, being cool is by far the biggest factor. All humans like to laugh, so being amusing is one of your best attributes. Like sales, there is a subtle art to making the prospect think that going out was their idea and you are more in "sure, why not" category.

An area you probably want to stay away from is flattery. Contrary to popular opinion, this will not help. A pretty girl already knows she's pretty because the 10,000 men who approached her before you told her so. The fact that you are talking to her is ample evidence that you think so. Kicky's "nice shoes" comment is a beauty, as long as she would normally find you attractive anyway, but do not complement her directly when you first meet. You want, almost need, her to wonder what you think of her to get the juices flowing. Like men, women love a challenge. Shortly after you've established a time and a place to meet, excuse yourself rather abruptly. Since you want her to actually show up, you don't want to hang around till she excuses you. Let her be the one wondering if you'll really show up.

It's premature, but I think you should also know that you should have your plans for the date prepared. "What do you want to do" translates to "I'm a loser who is so worried about impressing you that I'm afraid to make a mistake". Don't fall into that trap. Unless asked, don't even tell her where you are taking her. Your confidence that she will be happy with your choices will be appreciated even if your choices are not. She'll let you know if she objects.

Before you can begin work on these finer points you must make yourself comfortable talking with them in the first place. Yikes, I've babbled long enough…
Go to the Mall.

What about shyness with a cool smile?

I guess what I'm saying is that you can use your shyness to your advantage.

Too subtle for a beginner Cav. I got the impression time was of the essence; so first we must establish the fundamentals. The law of large numbers is his best friend in this situation.