My girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to have sex

You clarified to her at the beginning of your relationship that you didn’t desire sex, and she agreed to that, so her behaviour right now drunk or not isn’t acceptable. Even if you hadn’t clarified that, you are still within your rights to do with your own body what you want. A relationship is all about COMMUNICATION. The fact that this is doing out when she’s drunk means she’s most liking been holding this back. What you should do is sit down when your both sober and calm and ask her how she feels about the relationship, and about sex, and then tell her again how you feel. You should not feel guilty about not wanting to do something or not liking something, and you are most certainly not a freak of nature or a prude, and if she feels that you are then she doesn’t understand you. No matter what it is your choice to have sex with her or not. She has to work out weather or not she can handle that or weather it is a deal breaker. Because I’m assuming you love and are attracted to this girl, so let her know that you not wanting sex does not change either of those things. Again, it is all about communication.

I realize that this is an older post, but if this response can help anyone in the future, I'm putting it out there.



Good for you for getting it out there, up front, what you wanted.



Again, good, you stood up for yourself.



Hence it is now open that she was lying when she said she wanted a sexless relationship. BTW, people who aren't interested in sex are generally called asexual. You are far from alone.



There's your first mistake. If you aren't interested in sex, and you made that clear from Day One, then what have you got to be sorry about? You've just been yelled at for being who you are. That did not call from an apology on your part.



Again, you asserted yourself. You didn't want to, you weren't at home, and you were essentially in the middle of a fight. She used your apology as a go-ahead to feel you up (yeah, that's the term for it).



You don't have to answer that, and you don't have to take it. This is generally the time that you make arrangements for someone else to get her home and tell her you're leaving. And if you aren't, then be prepared for it to escalate.



This is not your job. There is no justification for her hitting you. Period.



That doesn't matter. She should not have assaulted your person.



That still doesn't justify her actions. She pushed you and was nasty and hit you. It doesn't matter who started it.



No, you told her it was neither the time nor the place and you told her it was inappropriate. You are entitled to personal autonomy.

BTW, she was not being affectionate. She was marking her territory.



Countless nonprofessionals have tried to 'fix' abusers. They think if they'll spend less money, not burn dinner, be more affectionate, have a child, disavow their parents and friends, dress sexily, dress modestly, quit work, make more money, or a thousand other often contradictory things that the **** will stop.

It won't. You are not responsible for 'fixing' her or your relationship, such as it is.



Bullshit.



That doesn't magically turn it 'fine'. That just means you're surrendering.



If you don't want to have sex, then don't. Simple as that. Those are your terms, and you have always been upfront and honest about them. If she pressures you to have sex, then she is not the right woman for you.

Consider what things would be like if this was a guy. Or if you heard a friend asking similar questions. Would you tell them to get on their back or their knees and just take it like a good little wife?

Or would you tell them to get out of a bad situation that has the potential to get far, far worse?

I urge you to tell your parents, friends, and family what is going on, and seek local help, or at least the National Network to End Domestic Violence.

This is your life we are talking about here. Not only whether she can hit you so hard as to potentially end it or damage you permanently, but also your happiness.

Don't stay with someone who doesn't respect your personal autonomy.