The best Jewish mother is a Japanese one.

Subject: Ah To Be Jewish!

Enjoy

Subject: Ah, To Be Jewish!

Short summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us,
we won, let's eat.
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Jewish telegram: "Begin worrying. Details to follow."
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The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish
women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this
is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.
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There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life
begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable
until it graduates from medical school.
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Why don't Jewish mothers drink? Alcohol interferes with their
suffering.
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Have you seen the newest Jewish-American-Princess
horror movie? It's called "Debbie Does Dishes."
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Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers? They
never let anyone finish a sentence.
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When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her
that her check came back, she replied, "So did my arthritis."
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A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he's
been given a part in the school play. "Wonderful. What part is it?" The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband." The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."
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Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife? Under the
vacuum cleaner. She'll never find it there.
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How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
(Sigh) Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to be a
nuisance to anybody.
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Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish
mother on the street and said, "Lady I haven't eaten in three
days."
"Force yourself," she replied.
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What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?
Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.
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AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST:
Why are Jewish Men circumcised? Because Jewish women
don't like anything that isn't 20% off.