what do I do if my boy friend talks about me behind my back?

Why are you calling someone your boyfriend when they think you're a bitch, and says that in front of other people?

I guess that says it all.


Now, this is when you reply to me to tell me he's ususally suck a nice guy, and that I don't know anything about you so I should mind my own business.

No, your right on point. He claims he was just "venting" and that people do dumb stuff when their mad.

You really need to unload this needy self centered guy. Im assuming you are both very young, he's way out of line asking you to talk when you are sick. Trust me, you will meet nicer guys and you will also meet Jerks. Just don't hang your hat on this one. If one of your girlfriends pestered you like he did you would be irritated, rightly so. To comment on his excuse in the last sentence. what made him so angry he had to vent and call you a bitch. If he was angry because you were with your mother or because you have a sore throat, please remember what i said, when men get angry over silly reasons, they start to enjoy the power. It gets worse, trust me, My first husband had me completely isolated from friends and family. It starts so slowly, you don't pay attention, within 4 years i felt totally worthless. But eventually I realized I married a Man I could not respect and thats when I knew it was not working out.


,

Thank you, this really helped a lot.

Also, he said the reason he was angry was because I freaked out by telling him to leave me alone.

Certainly he did wrong by talking badly about you to others (behind your back) instead of being direct. He also was harassing you and not being supportive when you were ill. He should be called to task.

However, you did wrong by snooping into his phone or text msgs and speaking so harshly with him about your illness. You both are too immature to be in a committed relationship.

You are just learning to get along with boys.

Don't throw away your own opinions just to be nice and likeable. That is a huge mistake.

perhaps there are other options

His reaction was explosive. Does he act like this often?


If so, he has all the earmarks of an abuser.
He had NO compassion for you when you were sick.

The answer is to grow a spine.

Uhg.. first of all it seems there is a lack of trust on both sides here. You say you were sick and if that is true I can understand why you would be short with him. When you are not feeling well and just want to get some rest but someone is being insecure it would be annoying. I get that. Perhaps you could have handled it a little better but I can't say you were wrong about what you did. It is not easy when you aren't feeling well to say the right thing or figure out how to make the situation work out.

His lack of trust though is odd. A bit too clingy? But then you turn around and go through his phone and find him messaging another girl and he is talking **** about you to her?

He is acting like you owe him something? But at the same time at the point of you finding out he was talking about you to someone else only makes the situation worse. Not only that but going through his phone to find it?

There is NO trust on either side. I think this relationship is doomed. Think about future situations that might be similar? He says he won't do it again but all it's going to take is another situation where he is assuming you are up to something but you are just sick again.

I am not even sure why you would want to put yourself through such insecurities. But I guess you have some way of justifying it.

Confront him and then if he does it again, after you warned him to quit, dump him.thats what I did, and I feel free and happy