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Thu 8 Jan, 2015 06:08 am
About 3 months ago my ex and I broke up, we still talk about 2 - 3 times a week over text. I am planning on surprise visiting her, is this a good idea?
To give some background, we started out as really good friends which grew into a relationship. We dated for 2 and a half years in Country A, of which 1 and a half we practically lived together. I made a lot of mistakes (nothing to do with loyalty) and often gave her the impression that I simply didn't care about the relationship and was very unhappy. This was due to several personal reasons and had nothing to do with her, she knew this and tried to make me happy in any way that she could.
After two years of our relationship she moved to Country B to further her studies. We were still together but she could see how I went from unhappy to now miserable and how I simply wasn't enjoying life any more, this was the main reason that she wanted 'a break'. After the break-up I was devastated and wasn't sure what to do, after a few weeks I started doing things that made me happy again and finally was able to pick my life up which I'm now fully enjoying.
I still have a lot of feelings for her but I'm not sure if she shares those feelings. We used to talk jokingly (but seriously) how perfect we were together and that we were 'soul-mates'. I want to surprise her with a visit for a weekend in Country B now that I'm happy again and enjoying life, taking her out to dinner etc. I would fly down to Country B and of course book a hotel so that she doesn't feel pressured in me having to stay at her place.
Is this a good idea? Should I get over her...even if everything inside me is telling me she's the one?
@koala99,
Don't do this. Surprise **** like this rarely works out. You'll only blindside her.
@jespah,
I understand the surprise **** but would you advice not to see her at all?
I will happen to be in the same city for a weekend next week, this is due to work reasons.
Should I tell her this and ask her if she wants to meet for dinner? Or not tell her anything nor seeing her...
@koala99,
Contacting her and asking her for coffee would be nice. That way, it's not the commitment of dinner (it can be, ambiguously, a date or not a date). Otherwise, I vote no contact. Minimal and light, or not at all.
You are exes. Often that's for a good reason.
@koala99,
If you think you are friends at this stage, let her know you'll be in town and that you'll be free to have coffee if she'd like.
Leave it with her at that point.
@koala99,
Of course do it. But make sure she is going to be happy to see you.
Who knows maybe that is all she is dreaming about.
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