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I HAVE A FEELING THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE

 
 
Reply Mon 29 Dec, 2014 12:40 pm
My man has been waking up pretty early lately (not for work). He woke up yesterday around 6:30am took a shower, got dressed, left and was gone for a few hours. When I asked where did he go it took him a moment (or two) to reply. He said he was just riding around with his friend that I know (a guy that he hangs out with). His response time was super slow though so I didnt believe him. Well this morning he woke up even earlier (5am) got dressed and when he noticed I was awake he laid back down (with all of his clothes on even his jacket) I checked my phone and noticed I had a text from my sister. She had text me while I was sleeping around 1am. I replied to her text then laid back down. He snatched the covers off of me then started saying things like "who are you texting?!" I said who it was and he called me a liar. I rolled my eyes and then asked him "Werent you about to leave?" he then got really defensive and said "so you want me to leave? yep I'll leave. so that you can text whatever guy it is you're texting!" I let him know once again that I wasn't texting a guy and that I didn't tell him to leave but simply asked since he had his jacket on. He left anyway and has been gone for about 5hours now.
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Mon 29 Dec, 2014 12:43 pm
@ReadyForAChange2015,
This guy is nasty and jealous.

Why would you give a damn whether he was stepping out on you? Why not just tell him to hit the bricks and be done with it?
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
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Reply Mon 29 Dec, 2014 01:01 pm
@ReadyForAChange2015,
There is this new thing you really should try. I thought it had been around for a while, but I might be mistaken. It is something called Communication. You should really try it. I hear it does wonders when 2 people are having relationship issues. It will help when there are apprehensions and sometimes helps each partner clarify where the relationship stands and allows you to make decisions without resorting to asking total strangers for advice.

Of course, technically, you never asked us for advice or asked a question. You simply told us what happened this morning, so maybe you just want some sympathy. I don't know. But if you are wanting to know what to do, try that communication thing I mentioned.
ReadyForAChange2015
 
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Reply Mon 29 Dec, 2014 01:39 pm
@CoastalRat,
I meant this to be a question lol. As far as communication goes did you not read the part where I asked him "Where has he been?" haha?
CoastalRat
 
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Reply Mon 29 Dec, 2014 01:52 pm
@ReadyForAChange2015,
Well, if that is what you call communication, then I guess you did. No, communication is more than asking him a question. It is sitting down and really talking about concerns. I bet your question was asked in an accusational tone. If so, that is not communication. That is starting an argument.

Try getting him to sit down and talk to you. Tell him you are concerned about this sudden change in his activity and that you are worried about what it means for your relationship. You know more details than I so you would know better how to start a discussion with him.

Personally, if two adults who claim to love each other cannot sit down calmly and discuss their concerns, then you might as well throw in the towel now because it is all over but the crying.
ReadyForAChange2015
 
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Reply Mon 29 Dec, 2014 05:00 pm
@CoastalRat,
Thanks for the advice. I don't appreciate you accusing me of being accusational though because I was not. At any rate, I took your advice. Sat down with him in a non confrontational mannor and kept my composure while doing what you said to do. He in return got very tense, defensive, refused to cooperate or make eye contact. I gave up and started doing laundry. He then left back out. Once again thanks for your advice Smile
CoastalRat
 
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Reply Tue 30 Dec, 2014 08:54 am
@ReadyForAChange2015,
Quote:
I don't appreciate you accusing me of being accusational though because I was not.
Maybe what I should have written is that what you said could have been taken by him as an accusational. You may well not have meant it that way, but it may have come off that way to him.

Quote:
He in return got very tense, defensive, refused to cooperate or make eye contact.
Sounds like you have decisions to make about your relationship. It is my experience that once one party refuses to discuss relationship issues, the relationship is basically doomed.

Good luck in whatever you decide going forward.

0 Replies
 
 

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