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A Christmas Writing Challenge

 
 
jxtampa
 
Reply Tue 9 Dec, 2014 08:43 pm
Rewrite the below passage, making only the minor changes necessary to correct the errors.

Its telling that keeping up with the Joneses’s ostentatious Christmas displays has seperated my community into 3 groups the affluent incrowd the wannabes and non christians such as my family. None of the 3 most prominent citizens each from one of the factions are pleased with the other two. On the drive home each evening, the various decorative displays reveal an evolving story.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 5 • Views: 1,139 • Replies: 13

 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Dec, 2014 08:55 pm
@jxtampa,
Show us what you came up with as your answer, and we can discuss
jxtampa
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Dec, 2014 09:47 pm
@chai2,
I spot ten points at which a modification or insertion is required in the first sentence. Four instances in the second sentence. One in the last. Do you agree? How should that possessive plural in the first sentence be written?
Lordyaswas
 
  3  
Reply Wed 10 Dec, 2014 01:56 am
@jxtampa,
You write it how you think it should be written and people here will probably be only too glad to help.

jxtampa
 
  0  
Reply Wed 10 Dec, 2014 09:03 am
@Lordyaswas,
That's kind. I'm afraid I was not seeking help but offering something to challenge and amuse grammar enthusiasts.

I believe it's rather tricky. So far no one I know has even gotten the 'keeping up with the Joneses' part right.
Lordyaswas
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Dec, 2014 09:43 am
@jxtampa,
What, you mean the 'es' part being added as an indicator of the plurality of a word of which the singular form ends in s?

Every good Welshman knows the plural of Jones.

Joneses.

And "even gotten" is not seen as very good grammar at all in the UK.

As far as I am aware, we never use the word gotten.

I even have an issue with "got". A redundant word if ever there was one.

I've got a dog.
I have a dog.

He's got to go.
He has to go.
jxtampa
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Dec, 2014 10:14 am
@Lordyaswas,
What, there are no ill-gotten gains in Wales, my lord?

I totally agree with you on the redundant "have got." But we part on the issue of "gotten." It's the correct past participle of "get," e.g., "I have gotten more prone to defenestration."

It's more correct than your universal use of "got" across the pond. Of course, I'm assuming that your aversion to "gotten" is partially because it connotes the Americanization, which is read as "corruption," of your English, which you hold to be the original English language. But this is not so. Gotten predates the United States by several centuries and was prevalent on the Isles until the 18th century--when it was apparently forgotten. ;-)

J.
Lordyaswas
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Dec, 2014 10:23 am
@jxtampa,
You seem to do a lot of assuming in order to build an argument, jx.

Were you a Sales Representative in an earlier life?


I'm guessing JTT, myself.
jxtampa
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Dec, 2014 10:31 am
@Lordyaswas,
Am I? Doing a lot of assuming to build an argument, that is. Yikes! I certainly hope not. That is a sin in my profession. Where, pray tell, did I go astray in my understanding?

I'll refrain from embracing the feeling that I've been wronged by the salesman comparison until I know where from you speak.

And what is JTT? Google fails me.

J.
0 Replies
 
jxtampa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Dec, 2014 08:44 am
It's telling that keeping up with the Joneses' ostentatious Christmas displays has separated my community into three groups: the affluent in-crowd, the wannabes, and the non-Christians, such as my family. None of the three most prominent citizens, one from each of the factions, is pleased with the other two. On the drive home each evening, I observe the changing decorative displays reveal an evolving story.
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Dec, 2014 12:12 pm
@Lordyaswas,
Lordyaswas wrote:

You seem to do a lot of assuming in order to build an argument, jx.

Were you a Sales Representative in an earlier life?


I'm guessing JTT, myself.


Bingo!
0 Replies
 
jxtampa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Dec, 2014 02:23 pm
@jxtampa,
Please insert a "that" when you read the last sentence: "I observed *that* the changing decorative displays revealed an evolving story."
0 Replies
 
knaivete
 
  1  
Reply Fri 12 Dec, 2014 12:18 am
@jxtampa,
Jxtampa , thank you very much indeed. Hello, good evening and welcome to A2K.



Rewrite the passage below to correct any errors.

Quote:
Rewrite the below passage, making only the minor changes necessary to correct the errors.


0 Replies
 
McTag
 
  1  
Reply Fri 12 Dec, 2014 05:23 pm
@jxtampa,

Don't write 3 if you mean three. Unless you're doing sums.
0 Replies
 
 

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