Fax machines are great when you need them.
If you try to sell tupperware to me one more time, I will bore you with an Aria from the Red Army's opera version of 'The Two Gentlemen of Verona.' You have been warned.
My Avon lady doesn't come anymore, but I don't want her here anyway.
"...but literally half of the posts are 'lol' or 'me too.'"
I met Muhammed Ali not once, but twice.
Hot bird turd on ones head.
Tonight, my friend got life-sized cutouts of Julianne Moore, David Duchovny, Orlando Jones, and Seann William Scott from a video store. They were part of the promotion for Evolution, which is old news now. He set them up in the windows of his house. They look quite spiffy and realistic from the street. Oh, and he also got the smiley face with the 3 eyes--the movie's symbol.
I stamp on the floor just to make a sound...
I remember having to watch that movie with someone else. I didn't think that it was great, but it was all right. It's amazing how films now become old news so quickly...
Egg Beaters frankly just don't actually beat real eggs. I'm sorry, dear makers of Egg Beaters, but they just aren't that good. I guess if you can't eat real eggs for some reason, you might turn to Egg Beaters, and that's probably how you remain in business. But, I will not be making the conscious choice to eat your product again unless the circumstances are quite dire.
What is really evil is the music that is pumped into Internet cafés, especially Internet cafés situated next to crappy music stores. Did you ever hear of that woman who sang 'Ninety-nine red baloons' and disappeared? The one with the chaotic armpit hair? They're playing her greatest hits, as we speak.
Many years ago, at a performance of Damn Yankees, I won a raffle for a baseball signed by the entire surviving New York Yankees team of some-year-a-few-decades-ago. I forget the year and can't really decipher the individual signatures very well, but perhaps some collector will appreciate it one day. For now, though, I can't stand to part with it; it is still a piece of my past, even if I can't make much sense of it.
Depuis la femme m'a collé autrefois,
Nous regardons les idées regardées;
Le feu rouge sans cesse nous a consumés:
Et je ne t'ai pas, mais n'ai plus que toi.
I hope that the average American voter doesn't change his vote based on a simple sign stuck in the ground.
Some people just DON'T understand the Platonic ideal of logic. Look:
A = S
S = B
so A = B
George Bush is a man
All men are mortal
George Bush is mortal.
So--
X is afraid of people voting for liberals
Democracy lets people vote for liberals.
X is afraid of democracy.
Whenever I point that out, people just change the subject.
I have a very upset friend right now...
...but she is often this way.
