You see my old mans got a problem
He live with the bottle thats the way it is
He says his bodys too old for working
I say his bodys too young to look like his
My mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life than he could give
I said somebodys got to take care of him
So I quit school and thats what I did
I'm just a lady
laid back
never shady
So what you
need to do
is stop frontin,
and show me
something good
It was funny, but I really hope I live to see much hotter ventriloquists.
Sarah vs. Rush = End of Days. I'm ready. [..] 'Cause when it happens--and it will--it's gonna be HUGE.
They'll feel the shock wave on the soccer fields of Brazil, in the cafes of Prague, in yurts along the Mongolian border--like Krakatoa. Then the catharsis--the warm shudder, squeeze, and squirt, until finally all is calm, all is bright.
"Game over," some declare at that point. But it's never over, is it? Nothing ever is.
A rustling amongst the leaves on the forest floor. A clutch of tiny baby convervatives poking at their shells from the inside, struggling to get out. Finally, they're free--woozy afoot, sticky and glistening, skinny, with those giant dark--strangely empty--eyes. Most will succumb quickly, of course, to raptors, snakes, and the like.
But a few will survive, grow to adulthood. Conservatives--upright, sinewy, cunning, opportunistic. A mighty carnivore has skipped once more past the jaws of extinction, to live, to explore, to breed again--but most of all to hunt and feed on the lumbering liberals that have grown fat and slow in the absence of their ancient nemeses.
Drunkenness would explain your confusion. "The natural state of the Swede is a drooling, drunken stupidity." That's what Pliny the Elder's Natural History has to say in the entry for SUECIA. Look it up if you don't believe me. It's under the zoological rubric. If you check under DANICA, you will find a well-researched portrait of the authentic national character: "The Danes, a people legendary for fortitude in the face of adversity and magnanimity in the face of ingratitude. Their men possess the lightning-quick mind of crafty Odysseus and the martial prowess of swift-footed Achilles; their women are gifted with the faces and bodies of the thrice blessed: lovely-haired Helena, white-armed Hera and laughter-loving Aphrodite; and their children compose lyrics that arouse Apollo's envy and make the muses weep."
