How do I deal with my future sister in law?

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I am 22 and have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and he does have a lovely family that I get along with but his sister who is a year older than me is a little hard to deal with. She is a nice person she gave me a dress to wear and did my hair one day but some things she says are a little offensive. She has been with her partner for longer and she is getting pretty broody and wants to get married have a home and things like that but when my boyfriend mentioned about me and him getting engaged she went nuts and said "NO I HAVE TO GET ENGAGED FIRST AS I AM OLDER!" Ok whatever clearly has some issues here! Then I get told numerous times that I am not allowed to have a child before her either. Ok so I have someone now trying to control my body and my life and then makes comments that I don't dress nice I dress to plain. Who cares It's my life I can dress how I want too. Of course lovely boyfriend is blind and thinks she's joking or drunk so I am being too dramatic and **** so that makes me feel better lol. We had a gathering the other day and she was pretty drunk but then told me that If I ever get pregnant before her that she will drag me to the abortion clinic. Joke or no joke that's a bit extreme is it not? I never mention any pregnancy to her and I am not planning any but of course she's older so she has to get in their first and her family tell me to ignore it but it upsets me but I never say anything as I hate getting into arguments or upsetting people. I need some advice on how to deal with this fruit cake!! lol

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Type: Question • Score: 8 • Views: 703 • Replies: 19

[+3] - hingehead - 11/30/2014Get married and pregnant immediately so she can get over it.

@Weecaza,

Is there a reason you have to spend time with this very unpleasant sounding woman?

1 Reply

@Weecaza,

Run for the hills?

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

I do it so that I don't look rude as his mum and dad and family are lovely she is just hard to kinda get along with all I can do is avoid her as much as I can but she has recently moved back with the parents were my boyfriend stays so its going to be harder lol

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@Lordyaswas,

Lol if only it was that easy lol

1 Reply

@Weecaza,

Are you Canadian, weecaza?

1 Reply

@Lordyaswas,

Nopee I'm Scottish Smile

1 Reply

@Weecaza,

Weecaza wrote:

She is a nice person......but some things she says are a little offensive.

Reading this post was like watching a mud slide. Starts out with above, and ends up with someone threatening to drag you to an abortion clinic "as a joke".

Seems like she says all these slightly offensive things because you let her.

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@Weecaza,

Sorry, it's just that this is an overwhelmingly American site, and I picked up the fact that you spelt mum the correct way, and that almost never happens with Americans who write mom.
The wee bit pointed me towards Canada as most of them are Scots way back when, not thinking for one minute that you would actually be 100% Scottish.

I therefore change my earlier answer to "run for the Highlands" then.

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@Weecaza,

I'd suggest that you not meet with your boyfriend in his parents home. Really.

If they haven't been able to sort her out in 23 years, you don't have much of a chance.

Hopefully your boyfriend will be able to move out of his parents soon and things will be better.

Stay away from that house. Stay away from anything that would mean time spent with that nasty woman unless it is a non-drinking situation in a public place. Try to find a way to set that up discreetly so it's not too obvious initially that you are explicitly avoiding her.

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@Weecaza,

As Christmas is coming up, perhaps suggest to your boyfriend that you and he and his parents go out for tea for your Christmas together.

Christmas/New Years etc in that house are a bad bad idea.

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@Weecaza,

She sounds nasty.

I'm with ehBeth. Find ways to not be around her or at least with witnesses and without booze as a filter for anyone (you or her or your boyfriend).

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Get married and pregnant immediately so she can get over it.

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Warning! Warning!

Your BF and his family have taken no steps to stop this bullying?

That's how it's going to be in your marriage. No backup from your husband.

Think about if you want to get involved in this family.

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@Weecaza,

I'm an American, everything frightens me. Seriously, your future SIL sounds competitive and not very loving. I think it's a good idea to avoid her as much as possible. Women cannot dictate when other women can have a baby. For all she knows she may never be able to conceive. Our womb doesn't come with a warranty. Drunk or not, I think saying you would drag someone to an abortion clinic is deranged. I also believe that when people tell you they are capable of hurting you, believe them. And be very careful. I wouldn't let her give me a drink or an aspirin or a slice of pie.

I hope you think this over carefully, you may need to protect yourself and any future children from Auntie Batshit Crazy for years and years. I hope I'm overacting. But if you know any of her friends or neighbors that have known her longer, it might be helpful to see if they know if she is a mean drunk or a crazed lunatic. I apologize if I sound a tad hysterical, I just want you to be safe. Good luck with crazy SIL.

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@Weecaza,

Your boyfriend's family are used to her, and probably think there's really nothing to it. Maybe she's overcompensating for her younger brother being engaged, to, I would imagine, a much prettier girl. She's scared of being left on the shelf which is why she's acting like this. Once you're pregnant she'll just have to accept it.

There's always Jeremy Kyle.

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Hahaha thanks for all your answers! I spoke to my boyfriend today about it and he says that he agrees what she said was nasty but I have to start taking what she says when she's drunk like a pinch of salt well no I don't think so lol next time she says something stupid I will bite back I'm not being treated like that at all! LOL I don't think I'm Jeremy Kyle Material still have all my teeth and have a job hahahaha

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@Weecaza,

You can only get on Jeremy Kyle if you spend most of the day standing outside your house chain smoking and glaring at the passers by.

(Unfortunately there's a woman just like that lives opposite me. She has 13 (yes 13!) kids and most of them join her in the smoking and glaring, (those who aren't in prison that is.))

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@Weecaza,

Weecaza wrote:

I don't think so lol next time she says something stupid I will bite back I'm not being treated like that at all!

You should lamp her.

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@Weecaza,

Of course you have a better perspective than me, but I doubt she is really a physical threat to your or your unborn children. She is unhappy with her situation and your engagement (congratulations) puts this into high relief. I suggest you be pleasant, limit contact and live your own life. Taking things that people say when drunk with a grain of salt is probably a good idea but it would be nice if your fiancé told his sister her comments are putting a damper on what should be a happy time for the two of you.

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How do I deal with my future sister in law?

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