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Wed 2 Jun, 2004 11:59 am
I just received an email from the personals at Boston.com about a cruise around the harbor for only $50 per person.
I dashed through their web site a week or two ago. Looked for men between 55 and 59, within 10, and then 100 miles, from my zip code. Guess what???!!! The same guys are all still there! When I think of the experience my friend Gail and I have had: either we contact a man or he contacts us. Sometimes, the man writes a wonderful letter. We give a phone number or a private email and the man vanishes as a communicator. Why? Well, most of them are still there! If they tried meeting someone face to face, maybe they wouldn't be.
But, then again, maybe they would.
I am going to an event for Harvard Alums. Went to the same event last year. Then there were about 40 women and 10 men. Talked to a boring surgeon and a badly dressed attorney but ended up having a lively conversation with a group of five or six women. If the men could talk as well as the women, the evening would have been a success.
So, why am I going again? The food was great!
LAter, went to a Boston.com personals event. The food was sparse and the sort of thing you might find in a guy's pantry. Salsa and stale corn chips. Truthfully, the HArvard event spoiled me in terms of food.
Talked to two men at that event. Thought one was out of his mind. Crazy as the day is long, but in a harmless way. Talked to a few women. The women had much more to say.
So, why am I going?
BEcause I think it is better to see a man face to face. After all, it's the little spark a nice pair of eyes can generate.
Besides, the food might be good and there will be at least one woman there with whom I can have a conversation about teaching and job seeking and politics.
What is your experience, esp., if you are over 50, with singles events?
ANy thing good, bad, ugly or just plain funny to tell?
Re: Taking a chance on a singles event
plainoldme wrote:. . . .Talked to a boring surgeon and a badly dressed attorney but ended up having a lively conversation with a group of five or six women.
Sounds about right. Go to a singles event, and what do the women do? Form a protective circle with their horns pointed outwards.
Quite the contrary, roger. I arrived very early as I took the commuter rail in. As I had written a letter to the editor of the Harvard alum magazine that the staff enjoyed, they were anxious to meet me. After chatting with them for a bit, I got a glass of wine and began talking to the lawyer. Knowing it would never go anywhere, I started cruising a bit. Actually, one of the women brought the surgeon over to meet me, I suppose to get rid of him. After about two hours, I gave up and just talked with the superintendent of schools from a central NH district who came and stayed over night in Boston just to go to the event. We all left the place and went to Whisky Park to continue talking after the event was over.
If the men were as interesting to talk to as the women, the evening might have been a success.
Aw, shucks. So this year's singles event at Harvard is over? Darn, I was supposed to go with my colleagues, who are all single (3 women, well, make it more-or-less single). I ain't, but they all raved about the food also! Well, at least I didn't go where I don't belong. I'd be terrified anyways, am horrid at schmoozing with people I don't know.
i no smooze well. Although I did not get to the Florida gathering, I was quite concerned over how I would behave once there. Meeting people face 2 face (even after speaking online) is just hard for me and makes me take a while to loosen up.
PoM, I go to events for free food too lol. especially GOOD food. when's your outing?
My experiences with over 50 singles events is that I get a lot of funny looks. Guess they don't like young guys.
onyxelle,
It's this monday.
slappy,
Just don't know why anyone would object to you!
well PoM - i hope you snag a man w/ uhm.....LOTS to offer :-) If not, i hope the food is grand.
ony,
right now, I think that a lot to offer would be a lively personality.
I concur, judging from what you've said.
God, I hated dating. I hated having to 'meet people'. Which I find kind of odd, because I really do consider myself a very outgoing person...but it's a whole other ball game when you're outgoing to actually meet someone. Plus all the duds floating around lol.
I'll pray that Gus doesn't pop up at your gathering...although he'd probably prove for very live entertainment.
Who's Gus?
I hate meeting people as well and yet I really like conversation. Met a man through craigslist.com. Talked with him on the phone and despite his loud voice, agreed to meet him. While I find 'scruffy' men attractive and prefer a little rubato to polished good looks, this guy was very ugly. He was also a little pathetic and even his own kids wanted nothing to do with him. At the end of the coffee, he asked whether I was interested in another meeting and I said that the conversation satisfied me and I saw no point in going ahead. He became angry and insisted that there was physical attraction! UGH!!!
Met another man who was neither good nor bad looking and told his life story -- at least part of it -- with great charm. I was thinking that I would be willing to go on a real date with him but the more he talked, the more daft he seemed. I changed my mind after listening to him for an hour. At that point, he said, "I'm prepared to go home with you tonight. I brought my tooth brush." And I knew he was daft.
gustavratzenhofer
ewww PoM..........GROSS!
POM, that's hilarious about the toothbrush - did you laugh in his face? I don't think I would have been able to hold it in!
Back in the mid-'70's I was Single Again. I discovered that dating rules had changed dramatically since the early '60's. The secret to surviving Meet & Mingle is to remind yourself that you've been out of the social whirl for a time and the evening is simply going to be practice..
Eventually I met the present Mr. Noddy in a discussion group.
Gross is a good word. "I'm prepared to go home with you" is nervy beyond belief!!!
Being alone for a few years now makes the prospect of falling in love with someone . . . remote? alien?
Heeven,
I could laugh afterwards but at the time, it just seemed so out of whack. Remember, I had gone from thinking maybe on this man to feeling he was a quart low. Twenty year olds do things like that . . . not people in their 50s!
Did you see the movie Truly, Madly, Deeply? Stars Alan Rickman as a cellist who dies, leaving a girl friend can not get over the loss. He 'comes back' to her to help her rest and she finally meets another man, a real charmer. Since she puts the new man off, he decides that she is living with someone. Of course, the dead sweetheart is in the way. After a time of indecision and healing, she and the new man are driving in his car. She sees a pharmacy and asks him to stop as she runs in. She returns and asks him not to be scarred: she then holds up a toothbrush.
Miles away in class: the couple were launched on their relationship by then.
Noddy,
You're right: dating has changed. And we've changed! While the basic outline of what I wanted in a man is the same now as it was when I was in my 20s, I understand more fully what I want and some of the details are less sketchy, due to experience.
plainoldme--
Once again, I summon the ghost of Dorothy Parker:
INDIAN SUMMER
In youth, it was a way I had
To do my best to please,
And change, with every passing lad,
To suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know,
And do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!
Thanks! I love Dorothy Parker!
Well, missed a singles event I really wanted to go to last night in order to work. Sigh!
Funny, when I first started dating at 18, all the men who were interested in me were med or pre-med students. Now, I think I would like to meet a widowed doctor or college prof, who doesn't want to ever completely retire but who will maintain a small practice and/or consultancy or who will continue to teach one class and write. While I want to be with a man, I want him to have some reason to leave the house on a regular basis!
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