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Do I still have a chance to be with her? Advice? (More at description below)

 
 
Sun 16 Nov, 2014 11:48 am
THIS IS A LONG BUT INTERESTING READ

Okay, so me and this girl have been close friends for a while, I'm 18 and she is too but she's a 3rd yr. college students and I'm 2nd, with only 4 months gap. We are in the same dance squad and many people mistake us for being lovers because of the way we act with each other. She hugs and kisses practically everyone in the cheek no matter boy or girl, it's her thing, and she's very trusting. Although she does that, she is much more sweeter to me than anyone else, she called me once the only person who could keep her sane, with all the problems and school work she has (loads of school works). The real weird thing is that she has has a boyfriend though (they've been together for 3 years now). We tried to make things happen between us but it only lasted for around 3 months (I grew quite impatient as to why she hadn't broken up with her boyfriend yet and eventually I thought she might be using me, I was too stubborn at the time to realize she wasn't, so it didn't really last), she was still with her boyfriend at the time. Eventually after 4 months we forgave each other and we went back to being the close lover friends everyone knew. This time our dance squad went to a resort, and here is where my real question is pertaining about. We both slept on the same bed together (first time) with 1 other girl who was also a member of the squad already sleeping beside her. For some reason we had a problem sleeping and we both kept waking up for like around 30 minutes or so interval (the room was quite hot), we both knew this because we were sharing the same pillow. Eventually it came up to where she rested her head multiple times on my shoulder and she was the first one to place her fingers between mine while caressing it (I was too frightened to make a move on her but I knew I could and that she would allow it), eventually we fell asleep later that night holding hands together facing each other.

My question, what does that mean? Does she still like me and wants me to try hard to get her? Or is she just doing it to make me feel comfortable? Do I still have a chance considering the facts about her and what we did or do together? Did she possibly want to make love? What do you think? And any possible advice for the upcoming future? Tips for what to do next time when we sleep together again (what girls like us guys to do to them in bed like brush their hair back with their fingers, give them a kiss on the forehead, etc.)? Oh, and I'm too afraid to ask her if I still do have a chance with her, but I do know we still love each other very much, just not sure if that love is enough (better than her love for her boyfriend).

PS: Whenever someone asks her why she always hangs out and stays with me all the time but has a boyfriend, she dismisses the topic and keeps silent.
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Sun 16 Nov, 2014 12:19 pm
@Vizzledrix,
She has a boyfriend - and is playing games with you.

Back off until she doesn't have a boyfriend. Do not encourage her touching you. Discourage her if she continues.

Be honest with her.

Tell her not to mess with you emotionally or sexually while she has a boyfriend.

________

Would you want a girlfriend in the future who is comfortable playing around sexually with another man?

_______

You need to talk to her about this. Ask her if she wants a fuckbuddy to go along with the boyfriend she already has. Don't hint around - talk to her directly about this - ask her if she wants to **** you even though she has a boyfriend.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  2  
Sun 16 Nov, 2014 12:28 pm
Nope, and you didn't have a chance before, either.

None of this matters until the boyfriend relationship (is he even real?) ends. Until then, she's happily playing both sides against the middle, and you're the lovesick sap who lets her.

Don't.
0 Replies
 
Vizzledrix
 
  1  
Mon 17 Nov, 2014 07:58 am
Add-on: She did say she really did love me and still does after the 3 months of being together ended, but not as much as she loves her boyfriend. I don't know if she loves me more now because it's been 4 months since I forgave her.

The thing is I'm afraid of losing her, and I really can't move on for some reason, there's just something about her that makes me want her so badly, and I fell in love with her personality first (which is pretty rare), she just makes me want to give up on all the gorgeous girls who really like me, and I can honestly say she's just around the above average grounds in terms of physical appearance. Btw, I'm pretty sure she doesn't want me as a f*ck-buddy because I know her too well for that (but you can try to prove me wrong, please do). I do agree with you guys though, and yes, she's most probably just playing games with me, but I just wish I could find a way to stop it and somehow show her that I should be the one with her. Advice? ..again.

PS: Her boyfriend is a nice guy (via asking of his batch mates) but is really passive and doesn't do much work in making an effort to go to her, instead he's the one who waits in a restaurant while she goes to him. He doesn't even pick her up after dance practices and I'm the one who ends up offering to accompany her to her house for a safe trip (which I have been doing for around some months now).

Thank you guys for your answers, it's a really big help and has been well noted. Smile
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Mon 17 Nov, 2014 08:06 am
Wake up dear. You are being used by an attention whore.

She is the type who likes a lot of attention from guys and then uses her "boyfriend" in order not to have to make a real commitment. In the meantime, she can tease and flirt all she wants, because she always has that excuse to fall back on.

It sounds like she doesn't have an authentic relationship with her BF anyway.

You say there are other girls interested in you. Then cut this one off and start looking around.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Mon 17 Nov, 2014 09:09 am
@Vizzledrix,
wow - it's worse than you first described.

you really need to step back from her and find a girl who really likes you and wants you as her boyfriend.

don't let her play with you like that anymore.

wow
0 Replies
 
Vizzledrix
 
  3  
Wed 19 Nov, 2014 08:09 am
It took me a while, but I'm really going to go with what you guys said. It'll take time though and a while, being that we see each other 3 times a week due to the fact we both share and practice in the same dance studio, after 2 years I'm graduating so I'll be going back to my hometown and I won't be able to see her anymore. You guys are right though, really really right. And I thank you for your help, it's a greatly appreciated. I wish I could return the favor but all I can do for you is guys to say sincerest, "Thank you". Smile Also for bearing with stubbornness. Love is hard... *sigh* Any last tips before I head on to the journey in which struggles are sure to arise in my mind and life?
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Wed 19 Nov, 2014 01:09 pm
@Vizzledrix,
Use this as a learning tool. Now you recognize a tease and insincerity. Those kinds of girls are all over the place. Be wiser now in your choices of who you care about.

Demand BETTER for yourself!! Smile
0 Replies
 
Vizzledrix
 
  2  
Thu 20 Nov, 2014 08:20 am
Exactly what I thought, but she keeps telling me and as well as the other dance squad members that she's a in a strong and healthy relationship and they haven't even fought once in their 3 year span of relationship. She even told me that she tells her BF that she really likes me and that the BF instead just teases her about me. Which is.. WTF. She's an honest person but.. that's a little too overboard, unless true.
0 Replies
 
Eliusa
 
  0  
Tue 25 Nov, 2014 09:52 am
@Vizzledrix,
'PS: Whenever someone asks her why she always hangs out and stays with me all the time but has a boyfriend, she dismisses the topic and keeps silent. '

Have her bf ever asked her this? Or he doesn't care that much this is why she needs attention?
0 Replies
 
Verlor
 
  1  
Sun 28 Dec, 2014 09:18 pm
I think she is doing it to make more comfortable with her.
0 Replies
 
 

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