He needs time??

He was with his sick daughter, and giving all his attention to her. If I got a series of texts like that when one of my kids was in hospital, I don't think I would have been so polite.

I didn't even know she was home from school again & she wasn't in the hospital yet. I thought he was at work. We always text & check in to see how we are doing during the day. When he said she may go into the hosp I guess I turned into "mommy mode" and wanted to know details. I didn't realize how bad I may have sounded. But I understand now. I have never had a child in the hospital before (thank God), but I could imagine how it would be with someone asking tons of questions. I came off pushy. I get it. Now I gotta fix that.

You're not the mother though. When you've raised two kids single handed on your own for ten years without a mother it can get a bit much when a woman thinks they can just step in, especially during a crisis. You were asking questions the kids mother would ask, but he's brought them up without a mother.

If he's brought them up on his own for ten years it doesn't sound like he, (or the kids,) needs a mummy figure.

Single fathers face prejudice with some people thinking they can't cope, just because they're a man.

I don't think the OP was suggesting her BF couldn't cope, but perhaps he, like you, jumped to that conclusion.

People, male and female, can worry about their partner's children. It's not always understood or appreciated. It just happens.

yup

a-yup

I didn't say she was, I was trying to give the perspective of a single father who has brought up his kids on his own, (for just over ten years actually.) I thought it might help.

This is what I said, I wasn't pointing fingers.

I know I am not their mother, nor will I ever pretend to be. I was asking questions because I was concerned, not because I felt like he couldn't do it. All I asked was if he knew if she was going in the hospital. He is very capable of being the great father he has always been without me stepping in. Did it sound like I was trying to come accross that way? If it did, boy I have a lot to learn.
That's what sucks when you're texting someone. You never know how to take things for sure. You know?
I'm learning a lot from you guys. Even if it wasn't what I intended to learn from this post lol

I am worried about his daughter, even if she isn't mine. Just like I would worry about a friends daughter, also. I hope he didn't jump to that conclusion. I've told him before he is a great father, so he knows I feel that way.
I'm just a worrier. I genuinely care for others. Maybe that gets me in trouble.

You're a very empathetic person which is wonderful but you have to learn the boundaries of this energy...
Oh, and don't text him til your relationship has taken hold.
Too much confusion.
Face to face and live phone calls til it's all sorted out.

Please don't think I was criticising you, I was just trying give you some insight into how a single dad thinks.

Thank you. I have never dated a single dad where the mother is not involved before. In some ways it's good but in a lot of ways it's bad. I don't want to step on any toes.
His daughter is out of the hospital, thank goodness. Is it ok if I just send a text saying "Hi xxxxx. I'm just checking to see how xxxxx is doing & to let you guys know that I'm thinking about you. Let me know if you need anything"

What if he doesn't talk on the phone?

I don't think it would do any harm, but if you don't get a reply leave it for a bit.

momto4, you are really overthinking all this at this point. You keep asking the same questions of us over and over, much as you did to him.

Leave it be for awhile. You named this thread "Does he need time?" The answer is yes.
It's not up to us or you how much, and no one can tell you.

Don't try to push the river, let it flow.

Just a quick update. I did text him last night checking on his daughter. He text me back. She came home yesterday. We only sent a few texts back & forth, but he said she is good so far. I feel better knowing she is ok & knowing he is still talking to me. Thanks for the input guys!

that's good to hear

now try to stay chill

hopefully you learned something from all of this - including the fact that it is really hard to get someone's tone/mood through text

Seconding what Beth said, less questions, more displays of support. He'll tell you in own time anyway.

Good luck and all the best.