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Mon 10 Nov, 2014 01:10 pm
Why does God want me to not be myself?
When i was myself i loved this sweet girl. The feeling wasn't mutual, so she didn't love me back. Almost every single day i prayed for help, and i did get help, but no matter what i did, she never liked me. It's not because of the physical appearence because many girls told me i was handsome blah blah. But that one girl was the girl i loved. No other girl compared to her. She gave me signs that she liked me and other days she just didn't care about me. We even held hands at the cinema!!
Wich was a help from god because it's what i asked him. But in the end... None of those moments mattered. I cried at night, raged agains't God. Blamed myself and sometimes, blamed God. But everytime i did it i said to myself "Have Faith", and that's what i have been saying since the day i met her. But after some time i realised i was wasting my time on some non-existing love, so i just gave up.
Now, i go to school, i don't say hi to her, i act like she isn't even there and she's in the same class at me and everything i look at, every object, is linked to a moment we had together. A place we have in school when we first kissed. I've told her i loved her, but she never told me back.
So, nowadays, i just live life like there just isn't love in this world. I was forced to change who i was. A very calm, peacefull, kind guy into a guy who just doesn't care. Someone who is tired of giving and not receiving. It's about time i got something!! So why?! What is he trying to do!!?
(Sorry for that long text, but even so, maybe only I can understand what im feeling and no one can help me.)
The main reason i went here was to get answers from someone who speaks to God, since he doesn't give me any answers, and even after all that despair and suffering, i somehow never lost Faith. (We were best friends)
Thank you
-Xaxixx
@Xaxixx,
I just asked God, and he told me to tell you to leave the girl alone.
@Xaxixx,
He said because she doesn't like you.
Anything else you want me to ask him?
@chai2,
How can your hear him?
Im just tired of suffering you know?
If you truly can hear him. Ask him what i should become.
@Xaxixx,
I hear him because I got hit in the head by a brick and a child, and it opened up the transcommunication channel.
God says you're making yourself suffer, not him, and to stop blaming him for everything.
He says he really doesn't care what you become, and to stop asking him stupid questions.
I tend to agree.
@chai2,
Hey. Im sorry.
I never intended to offend you if i did in any way. Maybe you don't understand my pain. And those words really hurt me. Again, im sorry, i was just trying to find some help, and i believed your words. I cant figure out if you're joking or not. It's just that, the pain... it's real.
@Xaxixx,
Those weren't my words, they were Gods.
He just told me he's too busy not doing anything about all the people getting raped and murdered, and all the people with cancer that are dying to pay much attention to you.
Why do you make your god into a magician, sugar daddy, and match maker?
@PUNKEY,
You know Punkey, that's what God was asking me when we were going over all this.
I didn't want to say anything, since the OP seemed such a wreck, but God said he was getting really annoyed at the constant barrage of "Does he like me?", "Please let me get this job" and "Where are my socks?"
He said it's been worse than ever since he got a twitter account.
@chai2,
Ask Saab about those socks. I think she found them and they were too big. Way too big.
@roger,
say....
has anyone actually ever seen saab and God together?
You don't suppose.....?
@chai2,
Hahaha, Chai you're priceless! This was my laugh for tonight
@chai2,
Noone has, now that you ask. That might even explain the size of the socks.
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