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Mon 3 Nov, 2014 05:23 pm
Hi!
My name is Matthew. I found out I was gay a few years ago, and have lived mostly content since then. I am now eighteen years old, discovering I was gay around 14-15 years of age.
When I was sixteen, I even had a short term relationship with a seventeen year old, but things didn't work out after over a year.
One thing I've been worrying about, increasingly in recent years, is the various lifestyle elements of a gay man.
My relationship with my boyfriend took place purely over the internet, so we never engaged in any, activities as it were.
I still have yet to meet someone else, and wonder if I ever will, but that's a whole nother issue entirely.
I am worried about, if I do meet someone, our sexual relationship when/if things progress that far along.
It is anal primarily that I am concerned with. I know this is the ultimate way to show my love for my partner, and I really, really want to be more comfortable with it, but I'm not. I've, experimented, and even that is uncomfortable.
I am also very not stereotypically gay.
Any suggestions or tips?
@omaniac,
First, you confuse sex and love...two different things. A particular form of sex is not the "ultimate" way to show love. Sex is, first and foremost mainly mental. I would say love is at it's best, expressed in many, many other ways.
While I'm not gay, I have had sex and have been in love, so I believe I am still qaulified to comment in this case.
My point is that you seem to equate some special difficulty with being gay as it pertains to sex (and possibly love). Your problem is not unique as you may think it is because you are gay. Heterosexuals experience these same misgivings and problems of approach especially at 18.
My advise is not to obsess over it as everything will happen in time. When there is genuine love the insignificance of a certain sex act being cemtral to the equation will be more than evident to you. You will figure it all out...so relax, and dont let these thoughts color your attitude or approach.
You said: " I know this is the ultimate way to show my love for my partner."
Why do you think this?
There are many ways to show love to another person.
I give you the same advice as I would to any young person. Take things slow, meet people who share your interests and values , and a relationship will come from there.
@giujohn,
The only thing I will add is, there's time to figure such things out. A patient and loving partner will respect your boundaries and help you make new memories - whatever they are.
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