At what point does pride become a bad thing?

Not what I mean, entirely -- it doesn't need to be Big and Important. I'm just looking for something (to wrest this back on-topic) in which I can take pride, in the positive sense. Make the lives of people I come in contact with a little bit better. Just something that's been on my mind lately, especially as I try to reduce a "Statement of Purpose" that turned out FAR to literary (not good, mind you, just literary in tone, which might put off or even intimidate potential readers of import -- and allowances have to be made for their egos and pride, as well) for undergraduate biology programs. I was trained as a pretentious artist and student of the humanities, so things tend to come out that way.

Anyway, I just feel like there's a lot more to be said for doing things, however small, than "being" something. Intellect is a tool, and a damn good one at that, but a tool is only as good as the use it's put to. Being proud of your hammer is just silly. Being proud of what you do with your hammer can be a very positive thing. (Or negative, of course: you might bash people in the head with your hammer and take pride in that, too; that doesn't make it a good thing.)

<snicker> Why the phallic metaphor (allegory? syllogism? I don't know what these words mean), I wonder.



(Treating life as one great digression.)


(P'rhaps I should look into Buddhism...)

Ah, the statement of purpose. Aren't those fun. Hubby tried to do his last month and was quickly reduced to a puddle of quivering existentialism. They have that effect.

O.K Patio and Sozobe,
I just went through alot of typing that got lost. So here I go again.

The both of you have brought me into quite an excellelent discusion. Not only about simply Pride itself but also Existentialism and Psychological Disorders. I thank you both for writting so long of posts, it helps me feel like I am not alone

First off Patio, Satre was quite an interesting writer of that Philosophical movement. Though upon reading Nausea. I found it was not really my peace of pie. I fell more in love with the Camus approach "The Plague" is brilliantly written it does deal alot with Pride, Personal Exile, and or Strife.
The way it was put together with 3 diff Narrative approaches and Camus own little add in here and there subliminal msg's. Make it one of my fav's.

Sozobe and Patio thank you so much for oppening this door and leading me into this maze. Who's to say that the specified child was not suffering from a form of Autisim or PDD?

I have done much research in Psychological Disorders. Esspecially ADD,MPD,Hyperlexia,Autism,PDD, Bi-Polar,Aspergers,High Fuctioning Autisim, and infinitum...

The funny thing is many of them are usually misdiagnosed due to improper insurance coverage for a real doctor or testing. Or you get stuck with a doctor that Evaluates you and Sub catgorizes you within an intial first time evaluation. Or goes by what past doctor's have felt. First Impressions are a bitch if they decide the fate of a illness.

If either of you want to read a good book check out R.D Lang's " The Divided Self". Especially for you patio due to the fact it is written in exisentialistic format.

Now back to Pride. Yes it is very much positive and negative depends on your definition or how you allow the pride to drive you or what drives it.
Take this for example WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU OR ABOUT YOU IS NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS.
Just be TRUE to yourself.

I was diagnosed at age 4 with ADD and was on ritalin for about 8 yrs. Among many others about 13 before I was 12. The funny thing is that I had no problem paying attention I paid too much attention. By the 3rd grade I was reading 350 page books, after teaching myself to read and write somewhere between 3 or 4.
I would go to school and be riddiculed. Though go home and study, study, study.. Not F@#%*(# Dr. Seuss but books upon boks and experiments. I would go to school during the day, and College at night with my mom because they were amazed at my understanding of her Medical Courses at such a young age. I Could go on and on BLAH BLAH about that **** though I do not want to seem like a bragger. In all reality I can't stand them, or sugar coaters either.

Back to Pride due to many stubborn years of me letting my ego drive the wheel behind it. I found myself lost full of resentments against people while all I had to do was let go and kick them out of my head.

Now a few years later, I am trying to write a book. Let me rephrase that I am writing a book. Though out of Possitive Pride which I view as Respect and my very non materialistic views. I wish to take all of that stupidity and egotistical Pride and change it from a negative to a positive. by putting it out into the world. Only to help those that need it now or may need it later. Every cent will go into charity. All I wish to get out of the book is helping someone else out. Taking away a frown and replacing it with a smile. Now that is respect and love. with a lill dash of pride along for the ride.

Mellow, Your intentions are good, but realistically, many books do not make $$$$. c.i.

What if I could careless about the money

Good on yer (to borrow a phrase), MG. (It would appear that the Gemini nature pops it's head above the Mellow nature every now and then. ;-) )

trying to catch up - this is great stuff!

TO PATIO Not really, The head does not really hop above the other. I just use the handle to mystify the ignoramus population that believes all the hype/ misdefined Gemini. (Alot of people are into astrology and they're sign though do not really research it enough to see behind all the garbage stated about the evil twin Gemini's)
Mellow's the real Nick with the kick for it is my attitude towards life. I sway more towards my Sheep astrology, in many aspects. :wink:

At what point does pride become a bad thing?

When it holds me back!

"Deciding that just as discretion was the better part of valor, so was cowardice the better part of discretion, and so he valiantly hid himself in the corner."

(Or I might misquote Mr. D. Adams. It wouldn't be the first time, and he is unavailable to correct me.)

MG, Even more honorable. c.i.

By the standards that seem to be common among the posters on this thread, I think my pride is only a little out of whack. And, I am working on the right things, I think. Certainly thinking about them which is a good thing in and of itself.

I love reading along although, sometimes y'all get a little beyond me.

littlek says:



y'all, hey - like that coming out of a Boston gal! The relationship is back on!

Very simply put: if more people in this world treated everybody else with love, respect and dignity, most of the problems we now experience will disappear. c.i.

I try my best C.I, and very much agree. Have you read Marcus Aurelious's " Meditations"? ( Probabaly a stupid question).

You know I have been a member of this site for awhile now, and think that alot of people here dislike me for just being honest. Though I stick around for a few reason's. One of them is that I have met a few people that have helped me out.

"Never let anythings intrinsic beauty or worth escape you"- Marcus

P.S THANX

THIS is a truly great topic little k - in fact I can't believe I missed it from the get go....For me, taking pride in the
things that I do, in my work, my hobbies etc. I've always considered
a real plus. I had to LEARN how to do that! Pride in a negative way,
as I see it, is when I think that:
a) I am better than someone else - - anyone else!
b) I don't have to treat everyone around me with equal respect and courtesy.
c) Patiodog hit the nail on the head with not being able to ask for
help when you need it, THAT one is very serious, it is like
believing you know it all.
d) Lash certainly made a great point in "self deceit" When we have
to lie to ourselves or put other people down to make ourselves feel superior - as in gossip, for example. Gossip is also a negative form
of pride.
e) In 12 step groups - one of the MOST important qualities to work
toward having, is primarily to eliminate being prideful, is the concept
of true "humility". Can you do a good deed and let it be anonymous.
Do you feel that you have to let others know how well educated you
are, or what talents you have, in order to feel superior in some way?
f) by humility - I mean just seeing your self as simply one of a group.
Not a big fish in a little pond...just one more fish. Another way I heard humility described is to have A REAL & VERY CLEAR SENSE OF WHO
& WHAT YOU ARE, coupled with a sincere and honest desire to be the
very best person that you CAN BE!
*As Craven said - for me to go about thinking I'm better than others
is a disliked quality - other people are very aware of it, whether YOU
ARE or not - and they see you as you are, rather than how you think
they see you. A person with a very bloated self image. Another good
point he made - about it messing up your ability to make appropriate
& intelligent decisions - if we go back to Patiodog's comment about
not being able to ask for help, it's easy to see how a prideful person - could easily make many errors in judgment by thinking that he/she
"knows it all" when checking with others, or even what I call a "reality check" could help him avoid making a big mistake in judgment. I sometimes get a negative feeling about a certain person ... and rather than assume that my intuitive sense is so good that I can spot someone who is, for example, a liar or a phony...if I just check with another person, ask them what "they see" in this individual....I might find out that the only reason I don't really like this person is because they are too much like me. In pride of course, I believe myself to be unique.
Take parking the car on the curb next to the grocery store, when
I know it's a fire lane... but I am too lazy to go looking around for
a parking spot. What gives ME THE RIGHT TO HAVE SPECIAL
priveleges - everyone else obeys the laws & the signs that say
Fire Lane - No Parking. Another kind of pride, "I am so special"
I don't have to obey the laws(especially little ones) like the rest
of the world does.
*Phoenix also made a great one there about the positiveness of
learning to SEE YOURSELF AS YOU REALLY ARE! HOW can we
hope to do this, without the help of another objective friend or person?
Through all history - all spiritually minded persons understand the need
to look deeply within one self on a regular basis, examine one's own behavior for flaws & often must confer with another person in order
to gain additional insight. We are a bit biased toward ourselves - this makes total honesty with oneself impossible. ALWAYS try to be able
to share with at least one person being 100 percent honest AND
honestly asking for AND accepting what that other person says to us. There is no field of investigation greater than the study of our own behavior!! This can yield the GREATEST of all rewards. It might be a
hard thing to do the 1st time, but once a person makes it a regular
part of daily life.....the results are amazing. The worst of all kinds of pride... I believe William James once said this, is "contempt prior to investigation".

Pride is a good thing. One should at times be proud of what one has achieved. Pride also inspires to try and do better when you think you could have.
But pride has it's problems. I believe in being proud and being modest. That is, be proud of things you achieve (yes, even in terms of making money, if this happened due to hard work or quick thinking on your part) (For the record, I'm as poor as dirt! ;-) ). But one should never flaunt it into the face of others. Nor should one let pride warp the sense of one's own worth compared to others. Everybody is important in his/her own way.
So what I'm saying is that pride is a good thing as long as it stays personal, and inspires us to achieve.
And yes, I have also been guilty of of being a gloryhound, but this is much more tempered in me(or so I believe) nowadays (Thank the lords! I must have been a brat growing up!)

Naj.

IMHO, the most important characteristic of a good person is that he continues to work towards improving his human failings. One must know when our pride gets in the way of self improvement. Awareness and sensitivity will go a long way towards changing ourselves. Some people will never learn this, because of their feeling of superiority. c.i.

Interesting dialogue you guys very interesting posts all I really enjoyed reading them.

Wow, lilk, its all Abuzz people here. (Sorry to post this on your question, don't know how this works).

Is there anymore Abuzz?

As for pride, it is one of the seven deadly sins, but I think pride in your work and pride for who you are and what you stand for is vital. I guess its how you use your pride that matters.