I think dlowan is right. I have more of #3 (the second) than any other. I tend to think of myself as highly moraled and judge other people against that high standard. Funny, I don't know why I think of myself as such. Does it have to do with the anal stage?
Lash - do you think there ARE still some positions in which we put people that are considered so pivotal that we consider there is deference due to the POSITION?
I think of judges, immediately.....
Just free associating here - sometimes, too, we hold positions where more is expected of even our private behaviour than is usual - eg police (I am, interestingly, going with all super-ego positions here.) - we are expected to have due regard to the good name of our profession ...
LOL, could do, 'k - if you believe in anal stages! That stage would commonly be seen as one where rigidity and judgementalness would characterise symptoms of being stuck in it!!!!!
Dear me!
Hi, my name is Rae and I'm anal-retentive.
um, er, stuck in what? The anal stage? Oh dear. I'm calling my ma, RIGHT now!
Yes - I guess you could characterise very anal folk as shits!
'K - please do not take a silly e-mode test seriously - LOL- not so very many take freud all that seriously, these days, though I sneakingly believe he had some humongous, pivotal, insights amongst the culturally determined dross....
Tough Bunny--
Internally, I may be splitting hairs...(no pun intended)
I was thinking of social deferences, not those given due to job positions with legal authority.
I am certainly deferential to police and judges...
but I don't believe they are superior, as humans.
I don't take emode or freud seriously. But, this pride thing is something I need to investigate.
Yes - sorry -that was very short and blunt sounding. Not meant to be.
I was wondering what structure you might use to explore your own relationship with pride and decide what, if any aspects, you thought might be aproblem, and what might be virtues to cultivate more...
I am now very interested in the whole question! But you might not wish to comment...
I wish Craven would return and clarify what he meant by pride -and how he decides which aspects of his pride are helpful, and which not.
That'd be opening up a can of worms.....
dlowan - I don't have a structure to go by in this exploration. I don't know if I'll explore it past tonight. That's one reason I started the thread, to make it more long-term. What do you think about this. I think my commitment issues stem from a rigid sense of pride.
I'd suggest littlek go back to the friend who commented on the appropriateness of the pride as a concern finding. Some of the answers, for her, might be there.
I went and grabbed one of my favorite books. It has a section on pride that opened my eyes.
The author says, and I agreed after I realized it: One of the worst manifestations of pride is self-deceit.
Self-deceit is our unwillingness to see our faults. Or if we do see them as they are, we refuse to see the real reasons behind our faults. To ease our conscience, we lie to ourselves.
One quote I love: Good behavior is our true self exposed, or our true self concealed.
**I edited after seeing some of the conversation with littlek. I didn't want to seem rude by rushing in with a book.
Self-examination is always a good thing, but not because someone said something to make you feel bad. Don't let anyone do that to you, littlek.
Cool beans, LG. I like it.
Beth, we'll just have to wait until he gets back from NYC.
'K - DOH! I realised as I posted that this thread is a way of doing just that! I was thinking talking to the friend would be a good idea, too.
I would have to know what you meant by "commitment issues" before I could comment on them as related to pride.
I get worried by labels like that, anyway - frankly, in my work, I wish I could see a lot more women with "commitment issues" - maybe they wouldn't keep committing to the men they do! But that is a WHALE of a digression!
Rae -why would Craven commenting farther open up a can of worms? I am finding what he said very intriguing.....
PS: I LoOOOVE worms, anyway - I was very sad to leave all the wonderful worms I had attracted to my garden when I moved - i wonder if they have been cared for?
