HELP! Married woman with girlfriend

I could see why she thinks you are being unfair. You have your husband and her. She only has you, and now that she has you and that lady, I'm guessing you got jealous?. She would say it's unfair, because this way, you both have 2 people now--right?

This is a really confusing scenario. You're married but your husband doesn't mind that you swing with other people. So I'm guessing he doesn't mind that you are in a relationship with another person either. Thus, your marriage commitment doesn't seem to be affected with him. Yet I'm confused--

What is it that you exactly want or are expecting from the girl? And, how do your kids fit into this whole equation?

I'm not sure what there is to 'handle'.

Let's call your girlfriend Jane and her girlfriend Sue (it just makes it easier).

Jane moved away from Sue and gave you the key to the new place. Apparently Sue and Jane have now reconciled. In the meantime, you are in a semi-open marriage where your husband apparently doesn't mind whatever is going on with you and Jane (or Sue or anyone else, for that matter).

All I can figure out from what you've written is that you're a bit jealous that Jane has Sue (at times) and so her attention is not fully devoted to you.

You need to let this go, and recognize that your husband's been awfully patient about all of this. Time to take a leaf from his book and be accepting of Jane and her relationship with Sue. Jane is not with you 24/7 and that's impossible, anyway, as you both have lives, plus you have a husband and family.

This could be a decent situation all around, as your husband would know where you were, Jane would have Sue when she couldn't be with you, and apparently Sue is okay with it as is your husband.

Use safer sex practices, as it's not outside the realm of possibility that Jane or Sue could occasionally take a male or female lover (HIV isn't the only STD out there), or your husband might as well. Keep your children mainly out of it as they don't need to be mixed up in this drama, although you should not lie to them. And maybe sit them down, with your husband, and explain that sexuality is a spectrum and it varies, and not all marriages are alike. But that a relationship composed of people who truly care about and love each other, and want each other to be happy -- that is the kind of relationship you hope they get into when they are old enough, regardless of the gender of the person(s) they are with, how many, etc.

Thank you for replying. I don't put my kids into the situation They are at home mostly. I am not at home a lot because of my job so they understand that mommy is out at work. As far as she is concerned i just want her to give me the same as i give to her.... but you have really helped me think about some things..

"Jane" (sticking to jespah's names) is giving you the same as you give to her.
She has another partner in Sue and you have your husband, lets call him "Joe". What are you trying to accomplish here? Jane should leave Sue to give you her undivided attention while you're still married to Joe.

You are being unfair and unreasonable. Now, you've played with fire and you got burned. Heal your wounds and move on!

Your lover is not free enough to make any kind of commitment to you.

Step back and THINK about what you are doing.

What's going on with your husband? Are you throwing him to the curb? What does he think about all this?

you're in a relationship with someone else (your husband)
she's in a relationship with someone else (her girlfriend)

sounds like the same thing

He let her swing!
Why is it sorry note about 'throwing him to the curb'?
It is all mess anyway. He IS at the curb. Blind and probably unable.