First time being cheated on & confused on what to do

Reply Mon 6 Oct, 2014 02:48 pm
A few nights ago while staying at my boyfriend's house, I got a sudden impulse to go though his messages (I never do this, just had a strange feeling) Long story short, I saw a sketchy message between him and his friend, which ultimately led to me confronting him and him admitting to cheating. A few months ago, he got a little to drunk and ended up sleeping with a girl that is close friends with his roommate, and who happens to have a crush on my boyfriend. He claims it was a drunken mistake, and I want to believe him, but he hid it from me for a couple months. Also, the girl continued to come to the house for get togethers after they slept together. Her and I became acquaintances, and would often have conversations whenever she came over. Not only do I feel betrayed by him for cheating on me, but also because he didn't tell me until he was caught AND he continued to let his roommate invite her over. It makes me feel uneasy that he simply just sat there and let the girl he cheated on me with chat with me as though nothing had happened. Now that I've found out, he's begging for my forgiveness, and assuring me that it was a huge mistake. I'm not sure what to do, I've never been in this situation and I really need some advice.
One Eyed Mind
Reply Mon 6 Oct, 2014 02:51 pm
Step 1: Buy a Strap On.

Step 2: Let him know what it feels like being used.

Step 3: If he doesn't listen, keep upgrading the punishment.

???: Profit.
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Reply Mon 6 Oct, 2014 02:52 pm
He's dumb as a plant.

Dump him. He has no class and no respect for you.

He cares more about her and his buddy than you.

He's so stupid he thought he'd get away with this and it would all just blow over. In the meantime, all the "players" are in his surroundings.

Talk about rubbing it in your face . . .
Reply Mon 6 Oct, 2014 09:43 pm
I agree with Punky, I would add that he also has no respect for himself. I would not be comfortable sitting around with these jerks pretending everything is just fine. This is the part that's chaps my cheeks, he's begging for your forgiveness but his cheating partner gets to come over as if nothing is wrong. He's being a wimp, or is too young to understand what betrayal is.

Don't sacrifice your dignity, or he will be presenting you with ever increasing dalliances and hoping you will forgive him over and over and over again. Ask yourself this, if you slept with one of his friends while in a drunken state, and for reasons I will never understand, actually talk about the affair in texts with a bunch of your buddies, and he only finds out when he looks at your phone??????? Do you think he would be happy pretending everything was just dandy? Probably not. Dump him.
Reply Mon 6 Oct, 2014 10:34 pm
I agree with Glitterbag and Punkey. It is possible that I would forgive the cheating... and there is debate about whether he should have told you or not.

But the fact that he kept hanging around with this other woman, and the fact he watched you interact with this woman and did nothing... it is a complete lack of respect.

You should dump him and find a man who will treat you with respect.

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Reply Tue 21 Oct, 2014 04:18 pm
If it was a drunken mistake, then he would have owned up to it. I mean how dare he continue to be with you intimately too (I'm assuming), and not feel guilty enough to tell you, who knows where she has been! Even if he was afraid, your health should be important to him, it's unfair that you were not in the know then on top of that he brings her in your face and she has the cheek to still come around. I'm sorry you had to experience that and I speak from experience, I think he'll do it again if you don't act drastically this time, (if you do choose to stay with him that is) we've all been drunk but we don't all do that, if they had an opportunity to do it again they probably would if they haven't already. Are you sure it was just once? If he cares for you enough and you both want it to work then "training wheels" have to be put in place, starting with dumping the so called friend. Who sleeps with they're friends?!! All the best
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Reply Fri 21 Nov, 2014 01:38 pm
i would do the same
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