Craven de Kere wrote:Quote:This must be the bottom-line case.
As opposed to you being hyper-sensitive and becomeing "pissed", and "sad" if someone has the temerity to disagree with you for more than a few posts.
In the category "last words".
To be honest, I don't give a [colourful expletive] about whether you agree with me. I
don't take disagreement personally. What I take personally are
accusations.
That is my weakness.
I happen to not give a damn about what you think about the electability of Kerry, Edwards or Sharpton. I
give a damn if I'm accused of "sloppy work", of "wildly stringing along assumptions", of spinning "numbers from thin air", when I
doublechecked them. And I
do feel betrayed when I check my posts and data once again in response to such accusations, and find that you're attacking generalisations I never made.
I apply - or rather, do my utmost best to apply - the greatest scrutiny and caution to what I post, on the political boards, when I post at length. You observed about that before, pointing out that my standards were unfair, and I'm wrong to expect other posters to interact the same way. But as I wrote before, I
am insecure enough to have a pathologically strong sense of accountability.
I
am a number crunching nerd, yes. I
do edit my posts several times, so as to avoid anything I might have phrased wrongly. I
did notice just now that in the quote above, I wrote, "The data is not on Democrats - it was an open primary. Only 62% of those who voted in the Dem primaries were Democrats" - "primaries", plural, when it should have been "primary", singular. I
can very quickly be made to feel guilty about sloppy work, making bogus cases, manipulating information. Because I
do spend a pig-headed bloody amount of more time than I should trying to make sure I didn't do any of that. (Pig-headed because the time I spend on it fucks up my life and is simply
irrational.)
So, yes, I
can easily be teased into justifying any of my arguments at length, when accused of enough hot buttons.
Not because someone disagrees with me. Hello! There's plenty people here who nearly always disagree with me, whom I like and respect nevertheless - and you
know that. I actually
miss the Roundtable.
What happened is that you had me falling straight into a trap - a trap I neatly set up for myself with my own vulnerability and insecurity. It is
my bloody fault that I let myself be baited like that. It's the fault of my pathological need to make sure that - whatever anyone else may have done -
I didnt do anything wrong,
I didnt harm,
I didnt cross any of the many bloody lines and standards I saddle myself with.
Yeh, lighten up, relativate. That's what I tell myself, too. But if I'm angry at myself for feeling this pathetic need to ensure every little thing I did or posted is accounted for, I'm angry at you for sending me through the motions like that, firing off accusations and leaving it to me to scramble and find out whether or not they were justified - and finding they weren't. That we were discussing ever more fiercely about ever less, as you continued to pick at any unevenness even as the bulk of what I'd observed was proven innocuous. That I just wasted a lot of time and ridiculous agitation because my insecurity had me doing a bunch of extra 'homework' - when the other was just playing gotcha.
If I wasted my time here, it is
my own bloody fault, nobody else's.
I set myself up for being Noah'd. But if I'm whining about that, dont you dare pretend that it's cause you "had the temerity to disagree with me for more than a few posts".