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25 Years Married - exception or rule?

 
 
George
 
Reply Wed 26 May, 2004 10:39 am
The Lovely Bride and I tied the proverbial knot on May 26, 1979 -- twenty-five years ago today. First marriage for both. Are we the exception today? Statistics say so, but most of my friends have a similar record.

What's your experience? What do you think?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 2 • Views: 2,859 • Replies: 34
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Jim
 
  1  
Reply Wed 26 May, 2004 12:15 pm
My wife and I celebrate our 25th anniversary next month. Among our close friends, only one couple divorced - and they later remarried.
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Wed 26 May, 2004 12:26 pm
I'm not old enough to have been married that long, but I predict I will be, happily. I grew up in a family almost completely lacking in divorce. I also grew up with many kids from split families. I must have inherited the commitment gene...I don't take many things seriously, except my marriage and my work.
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Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Wed 26 May, 2004 12:33 pm
I will be married 37 years this August. It was the "2nd time around" for both of us!
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Region Philbis
 
  1  
Reply Wed 26 May, 2004 12:50 pm
my parents have been married 49 years -- so has my wife's parents.
we just hit our 12th anniversary (all 1st marriages).

without looking at any stats or trends, i would say it used to be the rule, but now its the exception.
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Wed 26 May, 2004 12:53 pm
Congrats to all of you long-termers!

Have been with my husband for about a dozen years, too (gosh, exactly a dozen in a month or so), married to him for uh eight years.
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Eva
 
  1  
Reply Wed 26 May, 2004 10:03 pm
Congratulations on your anniversary, George!

I've been married for 20 years. It's the second marriage for both of us. We both married first at 19, divorced at 24, no kids, no contact with exes. We both agree we were much too young the first time. I was 28 and he was 30 when we married, and by then we had a much better idea of how it should be done.

Plus, I married a good man this time! I think that has EVERYTHING to do with it.

My parents were married for 38 years until my father died. Very stable relationship. My father was divorced when he met & married my mom, but they didn't tell me about it until I was in college. (What a shock that was!...but it was a brief, childless marriage.) My husband's parents were married (first & only marriage for both) for almost 30 years before his father died. So we both grew up with good examples.
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 May, 2004 12:44 pm
Region Philbis wrote:
my parents have been married 49 years -- so has my wife's parents.
we just hit our 12th anniversary (all 1st marriages).....


me too!

erm, Laughing

Congratulations, George!
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George
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 May, 2004 08:32 pm
Thanks for the congratulations. Great to see so many stable relationships!
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sun 30 May, 2004 06:16 am
hamburger and mrs. hamburger celebrated their 48th anniversary right around your anniversary, george.

Happy anniversary to all the old-timers! Laughing Very Happy Laughing Very Happy
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George
 
  1  
Reply Sun 30 May, 2004 09:57 am
48? Wow, I feel like a newlywed.
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sun 30 May, 2004 10:15 am
i can't get the pic to post here .... so ... click ... hamburger and mrs. hamburger on their honeymoon in Cuxhaven in Germany, May 1956
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hamburger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 30 May, 2004 04:25 pm
we HAD to get married ! we had received our papers for immigration to canada in early may 1956(good for 90 days). so, off we went to the registrar to file for a marriage license. married on may 17, 1956 and two months later we were crossing the ocean on a little dutch freighter to canada. plans called for it to be a honeymoon cruise ... and here we are 48 years and many more cruises later(almost all of them on dutch ships). encountered some rough weather now and then, but haven't given up on cruising yet (what did you want to read into this ???).hbg
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hamburger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 30 May, 2004 04:45 pm
25 YEARS MARRIED
here is a pix of the dutch freighter that carried us safely to canada >>>DUTCH FREIGHTER "PRINS WILLEM" ... the dutch ORANJE LIJN had quite a few of these 1,500 BRT ships in the north-atlantic trade. they carried a max of 12 passengers in addition to general cargo. our ship sailed from hamburg by way of rotterdam and le havre to montreal. all passengers had to get off in montreal, and the freighter would continue by way of the lachine canal (that was before the st. lawrence seaway opened, allowing large ocean vessels to enter the st. lawrence) to the upper great lakes. i think the lifeboats on modern ships are larger than the freighter ... felt a little queasy rounding the SCILLY'S , but luckily didn't get seasick. hbg
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George
 
  1  
Reply Tue 1 Jun, 2004 06:41 am
hamburger wrote:
...encountered some rough weather now and then, but haven't given up on cruising yet...

That about says it all.
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buffytheslayer
 
  1  
Reply Tue 1 Jun, 2004 10:08 am
Congrats to all above

Nowadays I would say it is more the exception unless the couple is on the second marriage.

My parents' anniversary is in a few weeks - 49 years. Kewl. Their marriage has not been a utopian rose colored glasses marriage. But they have stuck it out. I appreciate that, it's a good role model for me. Of course, I came along unexpectedly lol maybe they weathered stuff on my behalf where they may have otherwise divorced cause my siblings are much older.

Most of my friends have divorced parents. I was always the anomaly growing up - parents still together, etc.
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shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Tue 1 Jun, 2004 10:40 am
Congratulations to all of you who have decided not to make a loving relationship disposable like everything else in this world seems to be. I too have not been divorced and celebrate 'years' with the same person. Divorce , seperation..... I think those are so readily available that it almost seems the ONLY answer to any disagreement or problem. Problems are temporary usually a divorce is permanent. With everything being so readly available, quick, and easy in america's society today I think it is really AB-normal to see someone staying with one person for years on end. Wich is sad. Our homes, food, cars,clothes and other necessities are shoved in our face as constantly needing to be 'updated replaced or changed' and FAST... seems like relationships are treated that way today too. It is almost a cultural 'norm' for everything in a persons life to be in season , or the current style. Even a relationship. Alot of things in life that really enrich a person have become disposable. Maybe that will change sometime soon. One of the best experiences in life is to love someone.
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urs53
 
  1  
Reply Tue 1 Jun, 2004 11:08 am
ehBeth and Hamburger, I love that picture!

We will celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary next Sunday. My parents have been married for 48 years - not all too happy, I have to say. It seems to be quite ok for them now.

My sister is in her second marriage, my brother in his third...
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shunammite
 
  1  
Reply Tue 1 Jun, 2004 12:39 pm
Twenty eight years for us, Aug 7....first marriage for both of us, but I dated plenty before, a four year relationship...

The last eight have been hard, life got hard. Unsolveable problems, push you to take it out on your mate..."does it make it easier, now that you have someone to blame", that's U2...yes it does...I guess that's part of the usefulness of marriage.

I'm guessing birds of a feather flock together is why it seems to some everyone is stable and to others no one is..

My parents were married for fifty years, my dad died on the very day of his fiftieth anniversary...but they were only happy for about twenty years...the last thiry very hard. I don't know if they would have been happier if they had divorced...it would have hurt me...it hurt me seeing them so at odds, even when I was grown up...I don't blame either one of them, the problems were just too big, they did the best they could.
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George
 
  1  
Reply Tue 1 Jun, 2004 01:50 pm
Though my own marriage is stable, my parents only lasted a couple of years. My father was gone before my first Christmas.
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