Is this cheating?

Yes. Brad and Angelina. However, have you noticed, since their relationship, neither one of them have done movies where they are kissing someone else?
I don't think the other would stand for it. I think both of them would kick the others ass, and so would their kids.

Interesting response.

Yes, I agree, the simulation is the emotional portrayal of a character. However, the kiss is real as real can be. For instance, if the person your spouse is to kiss for a film has a cold sore disease, your spouses lip's do not draw a boundary line saying she won't get infected. The same for sex on film, the sperm will fertilize the egg regardless of how much someone was paid for a movie.


So, although I agree it's up to each individual relationship to set up their own specifications for what constitutes being unfaithful, that does not mean the logic they used to set it up is not faulted, or based on a false premise.

For you, Buttermilk, who believes passionately kissing someone other than your spouse is adultery/infidelity; you would be wrong to allow such actions be performed if someone were paying you. Because, you are essentially saying your values can be bought. And if all it takes is money and a big screen to sell your values of kissing, it may just take a bigger screen and more money to sell your value for, other things.

The way I see it. The persons body that you marry is priceless. Their lips, their hands, their legs, their hair, their entire body is priceless. Anyone willing to sell any part of their body, is getting a really shitty deal. So no amount of money is worth letting someone else's lips touch my wife's.

Are you talking about those people who have multi-personality disorders, absolutely absurd number of secrets and have zero self-respect all for ephemeral chains of pleasure?

it depends on what the couple has agreed to.

what any of the rest of us think doesn't matter

and maxdancona already said it

I agree with both of you. That ultimately, only the 2 people involved in the relationship get to determine what is cheating and what is not. I would never try to have them adapt my views unless they were looking for opinions from others to help form their own beliefs.


That said. I do believe that people base what is cheating on premises they believe to be true. There is the chance that the premises they are using to base their conclusion is faulted. Meaning, if they allow a pass to cheating as long as it is for a job, they may no longer feel that way when they encounter an undeniable truth in their mind; and vice versa.

The thing is. People are ever-evolving their understand of the world around them. People are constantly changing their values and beliefs; So when 2 people previously agreed on what is cheating and what is not, and 1 person changes their views, they then have to try and convince their spouse to come to an agreement. That is when it gets difficult, how do you tell your spouse that you are no longer comfortable with the physical contact her job requires? Would that even be negotiable, or is it death to their love?

I find it interesting that people give a pass to the rules of love when it comes to the entertainment industry...

it depends on the communication skills of both


I'm not at all sure why the entertainment thing makes any difference. I believe the same principle applies to any modification of the basic relationship - the couple has to be able to talk and be honest with themselves and each other.

Beth, do you know what honesty requires?

E.M.O.T.I.O.N

(Everything Man Offers Towards Internal Options Needed).

Doing a kissing scene in a movie is NOT cheating. You are doing your job. That doesn't mean that your wife won't have a problem with it. Although it is clearly not cheating, you still should be sure that your wife don't have a problem with it. If she does have a problem with it, then you will have to make a decision to whether or not you should do the kissing scene.

I agree with Eh Beth here. What I stated is simply an observation ...it is up to you both to establish boundaries to protect your bond...but --I get the fact that it is impossible to anticipate every situation. Decide how important it is to your mate...then decide how important this is for you vs what impact this could have on your relationship.

It's not about cheating ...it's about where it could lead to. They didn't discuss boundaries. It's common for chemistry to be ignited that way..