friends with benefits

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I met this guy 2 years ago through a mutual friend, he at the time was 28 and I was 19. We kissed and spent the night together watching movies on my friends couch. We chatted for a couple of weeks after and eventually lost contact. We recently reconnected when he broke up with his gf and came to visit. We were having a dinner thing for friends and had quite a bit to drink. We were chatting and he kissed me. One thing lead to another and we ended up sleeping together. He left the next morning and I asked if it meant anything he said he didn't want anything serious. A few weeks later he came over for supper again and thesame happened - drank, went to bed had sex and then he left the next morning. There was no text from him or me for a few weeks and then I made contact with him again. We chatted a bit and he came over for coffee last night it was the first time we were completely alone. We ended up drinking wine and slept together again. He left this morning and we haven't spoken. I need to know is this just casual sex or does he feel something? Is it possible to sleep with someone multiple times and not feel anything for them? How do I approach this without scaring him off.

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Type: Question • Score: 6 • Views: 1,273 • Replies: 15

@GoGetter,

GoGetter wrote:

Is it possible to sleep with someone multiple times and not feel anything for them?

It sure is.

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@GoGetter,

What Jespah just said.

Quote:

How do I approach this without scaring him off.

Chances are...you can't.

If it is not just casual sex for you...you ought to stop having it happen.

This is not to say that nothing serious can develop...but that the chances are probably much greater that it IS just casual sex and will never be anything more.

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@GoGetter,

GoGetter wrote:

I need to know is this just casual sex or does he feel something?

No, it's not just casual sex. It's casual sex plus he's drinking all of your booze. He must think he has won the slacker jackpot.

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@GoGetter,

He has been very honest with you. Why wouldn't you believe him? He wants casual sex, which is exactly what he has with you.

If you want casual sex, then you should continue. If you don't want casual sex, then you should talk to him again (and stop having casual sex with him).

If you are looking for something more than casual sex with him, then you should certainly tell him. You should be prepared for the answer. It is likely that he doesn't want any more (as he as already told you). It is possible that he will want more with you if you talk to him.

Communication is a very good thing in any relationship including a friends with benefits relationship.

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@Frank Apisa,

Of cause you can approach this, and you should! If I have learned anything from my years as single and sexual active it is that casual sex can be really fun, and sometimes it leads to something more, but if you don't talk openly about it, you're just going to get confused, frustrated and properbly end up sad.. So talk to him( but figure out what you want first) it's also kind of the fun part! (:

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I think we need to be asking a bigger question here.

Are you really defining your life around sex, OP? When you have a brain that is connected to a world, that is connected to a Universe, that is connected to wisdom, that is connected to a power that is beyond average man, which can turn you into a god among men, as long as you have self-humility and control over this power in admittance that is not your power, but the Universe's power?

I mean sure, letting a guy hammer inside you is so life-expanding, for your uterus - but what about your body and mind, dear? Do you not see further than your uterus? Think of your uterus like the black hole - and the man's penis as the exploding star. See where I am going with this? All this time you have been fooling around, you have never seen sex as a beautiful cosmic relation system between two opposing forces. You've made it about your temporary bliss, instead of something that lasts for a life time, OP.

Think about your life more than your libido.

There is fun...

And then there is future.

Spread your legs...

Or spread your life.

Choose wisely, OP. Your uterus is 1/100 of your body. Your life goes beyond yourself.

1 Reply

@One Eyed Mind,

Oh come on! Why is it that sex is never allowed to be just fun. If a person choose to have casual sex with a consensual partner, it can be abosultly great, and that dosn't necessarily mean that it won't be an amazin pleasure for body AND mind, and it certainly will not exclude you form a more intimate connection later on, whit that, or another partner.
Don't teach young girls that sex is bad, or that you loose some part of yourself or it will make you a worse person. Teach them to take care of themself, to listen to their own bodies and that is's always, always, always okay to say no! ...Oh and condoms, teach them about condoms aswell! (:

2 Replies

@DKgirl,

DK, I am a very sexual person, but I am also very loyally sexual as a person, there's a difference between you and I, DK. When I have sex, I have cosmic sex; when you have sex, you have casual sex.

Do you understand? My genitals unleash milky ways; your genitals is like a microscopic cow being stepped on.

1 Reply

@DKgirl,

Well said DKgirl.

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@One Eyed Mind,

Uh, I've never had my genitals juged by a person i never met before. I could write a long post about how that's really offending, but you already know it is, so why bother! (:

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@DKgirl,

You can't insult intelligence, so it's nice to know your genitals are ignorant.

I'm sorry that my genitals behave better than your genitals. They graduated in pubic school, have learned the arts of fuckology, and have learned from the feelosophers, "Confucksious", "Booty AH" and "ForePlayto".

You dig me, girl? My genitals are wise, dear. Your genitals are in a dark alley away rolling around in STD needles.

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@DKgirl,

DK, please just press the ignore button re. One eye, as he is a complete nutter. He hasn't been a member for long, but quickly proved himself to be an expert weirdo who flits from thread to thread, peppering the place with illegible garbage, or posts that cause offence.
If you choose to press ignore, he will magically disappear from your A2K life most of the time.
Well worth it, but your choice entirely.

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@Lordyaswas,

In other words, you are yet another coward that ignores people for your own peace. He who ignores his own people for his own peace, is he whose heart does not exist to give that peace a place to stay.

If I ever grew wings, I would stay here and gust away the fire that cowards like you left to rage uncontrollably because you do not let wise men express their talents, while ignoring every bloody ignorant fool's talentless lifestyle.

You are the reason why our rulers are monkeys slamming their balls against the wall.

See that Lord? I did not down vote you - why? I am not a coward that hides behind petty things. That's why people can't insult me - I am intelligent; you cannot insult intelligence, only can you insult IGNORANCE.

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@Lordyaswas,

Thaks! That will make it easier to remember the good mood! Very Happy

1 Reply

@DKgirl,

Yes, ignorance is bliss... isn't it?

Well, nice to know to know that you have again demonstrated that your genitals are ignorant.

0 Replies

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