On the anniversary of deceased wife's passing.

Probably not.

You got your point across.

You do it next year, and you'll start to feel obligated to do it again and again.

Then when you do stop, he'll have his expectations broken.

It was a nice gesture, but I wouldn't turn it into a ritual.

The real question is, do you have feelings for them? Consciously or subconsciously.

Thanks, that's what I was thinking. k

Not sure I understand, feeling for who/what?

Don't mind him. He posts things that are important to him, but no one else knows what he's saying.

As long as he's happy posting what's important to him, that's cool.

Yeah, I'm quite the mystery.

I should make a thread about my life and see if you can break me down into your reputably known gift in analyzing situations.

Take your clue from him. Just tell him you are thinking of him that day as he reflects the past. He many need flowers, or not.

Two years is nothing in grieving the death of a spouse. He may just now be able to process it all. Are there children involved?

You sound like you are sensitive to him. He is lucky to have you there.

May I ask your ages?

Punkey,
you misread the initial post. kann has been with the widower for two years and for the past year they've been living together. He might be a widower for a long time before entering a relationship with kann. Does it matter what ages they are?

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kann, I think chai nailed it here, it was a nice gesture the first time, but you're living together now and working on your relationship. It would be nice to take notice and say something sensible to him, but I wouldn't
buy flowers either.

He likely thinks of her every day.

Would you buy him flowers every day?

Once was nice, more would be weird. Accepting his late wife's place in his life and all his future relationships is more important.

Your daily life together is what matters, not one day.

ok - that was brilliantly funny and worth a thumbs-up

You're confusing the posters here with the clinicians at the institution. I leave mental illness to the professionals. Yeah good idea...make a thread about your life...that'll give you conclusive proof of who is interested.