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Men: Be Honest Up-Front About Your Porn Use

 
 
Reply Sun 7 Sep, 2014 05:52 pm
Dear Men:

There are plenty of women who will be fine with your porn use. They’ll either tolerate it, tolerate it reluctantly, like it (maybe it gives them a break) or even join in with you. So...there’s zero excuse for not being up front during the dating stage about it. This way, you know it won’t become an issue later between you and your future partner. But men are still lying about it (denial, or downplaying usage) during the dating stage and choosing partners who aren’t okay with porn (religious issue; concern with kids finding it and man is not good at hiding it). Often, the man will bitch about it later when their spouse/partner finds out the truth (it’s bound to come out). Lots of men are still telling women before they marry that they don’t watch it anymore (women believe it because...yep, they may have a guy friend who actually doesn’t watch it, or maybe the man is over 50 and the woman figures he doesn’t watch b/c he didn’t grow up with internet porn, etc.) If a woman says it’s a dealbreaker during the dating stage, have the balls to move on. Because some women ARE gonna leave the relationship when they find out you’ve lied all along. If you watch porn, have the balls to be up front about it. Oh and if the guy is “ashamed” about the porn and uncomfortable telling the truth? Well....there are lots of uncomfortable things in life, but you do them anyway. If you expect a woman to accept your porn use, have the guts to be honest and to choose your future mate from among the pool of women who’ve said they’re okay with porn. Otherwise, you can waste years of your lives if she leaves (yes, some women leave - mostly because of the lying, not the porn itself.) Thank You.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 4 • Views: 3,099 • Replies: 78

 
Buttermilk
 
  2  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 05:17 am
Dear Women,

Why do you care?
Lordyaswas
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 06:30 am
@Buttermilk,
Dear Ms Whiplash, please stop luring me and other poor lederhosen wearing victims into your kitchen related online dungeon so that we might have the time and energy left to mow the lawn on a Saturday morning.


Is that too much information?
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 06:35 am
@Buttermilk,
Buttermilk wrote:

Dear Women,

Why do you care?


You don't give a crap, so why bother asking.
Buttermilk
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 08:12 am
@glitterbag,
Because the OP asked a pretty answerable question using indirect sarcastic rhetoric. For instance not all men watch porn so there goes the ridiculous generalization. Also, for some men, sometimes disclosing to people that you watch porn can be awkward and puts the person in an uncomfortable position as being labeled "perverted." We still live in a very conservative society where we secretly indulge in pornographic material yet admonish it publicly. Hence is why I ******* made the remark hence is why I give a crap to type this paragraph to you.
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 08:57 am
"Be honest up-front" is redundant. To be up-front means to be honest. Therefore, i conclude that the author is not a native speaker of English (leaving aide the tortured writing style). That being the case, i say bugger off . . .

Lordyaswas
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 09:00 am
@Setanta,
Absolutely!

0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 09:19 am
@Buttermilk,
Buttermilk wrote:

Because the OP asked a pretty answerable question using indirect sarcastic rhetoric. For instance not all men watch porn so there goes the ridiculous generalization. Also, for some men, sometimes disclosing to people that you watch porn can be awkward and puts the person in an uncomfortable position as being labeled "perverted." We still live in a very conservative society where we secretly indulge in pornographic material yet admonish it publicly. Hence is why I ******* made the remark hence is why I give a crap to type this paragraph to you.



Soooo classy, I was wondering why you "hence is why I ******* made the remark". Then I remembered why. Yes it is a gross generalization to say ALL men are fixated on porn. Hence, it is equally a dumb ass remark to ask women why they would be put off watching women degrade themselves in front of a camera. I know some women say they enjoy it, but you have a hair up your ass about women in general. Not everybody watches it, enjoys it and admonishs it publicly. Not to put too fine a point on it, you can admonish a child or an adult. You cannot admonish a behaviour. If you think porn is nifty and normal, don't be a hypocrite. Own it, be damned what others think, reveal your guilty pleasure, be a big red blooded man.
Setanta
 
  0  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 09:22 am
Wow . . . f*ckin' Church Lady . . .

0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 09:32 am
Siiighhhhh!
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 10:37 am
@SharingtheLove,
Off hand I do not remember the subject of porn ever coming up during my dating days and for myself I never hide the fact that from time to time I watch porn from anyone when and if the subject ever would came up.

Guess I am lucky that I have never dated a woman that is so uptight sexually that such viewing would be an issue one way or another.

Hell my now wife was once nice enough to do computers backups for me and she label the disks containing the porn as Bill's girls.
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 10:53 am
@BillRM,
Bill, that is such a sweet story. Imagine how wonderful that women is, she actually treats his porn like cherished mementos. What a gal. One thing has me confused, what is the opposite of up-tight women. I'm sure it's not loose. What's the best term? Independent?
One Eyed Mind
 
  -1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 10:55 am
Watching porn requires balls to be up front about it? I cannot say I have ever been worried about stating porn experiences, as it's what? 1% of my day to myself? It's all mental, and I do not allow my fantasies to run more wild than I, so I hadn't the clue to ever fear or live in shame because of other's thoughts on my personal experiences. However, I have questioned much of my own activities, even if it's 1% of my days; I still am curious if I should make it 0%.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 11:11 am
@glitterbag,
Quote:
I'm sure it's not loose. What's the best term? Independent?


An adult would likely do as a label.
0 Replies
 
parados
 
  2  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 12:00 pm
@glitterbag,
Quote:
Hence, it is equally a dumb ass remark to ask women why they would be put off watching women degrade themselves in front of a camera.


I've always been fascinated by this kind of thinking. It's degrading for women to have sex in front of a camera but not for men?

It raises so many questions that need to be answered. Do women not enjoy sex or having sex? Do women not enjoy watching others having sex? Do women have no sexual fantasies? Why do women love the Chippendales if they hate people being objectified?
One Eyed Mind
 
  0  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 12:11 pm
@parados,
Over 80% of women fantasize about rape.

It's, however, but a fantasy.
contrex
 
  4  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 12:31 pm
@Setanta,
Setanta wrote:

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8Tiz6INF7I[/youtube]


Is Ray Charles proof that it does make you go blind?
parados
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 01:20 pm
@One Eyed Mind,
One Eyed Mind wrote:

Over 80% of women fantasize about rape.

It's, however, but a fantasy.


That is an interesting thing because it may reveal more about how we deal with sex in our society than anything else. We have a history of telling women they are not supposed to have sex or enjoy it.

Quote:
Why Do Women Have Erotic Rape Fantasies?

•Sexual Blame Avoidance - (See my ex, above.) Women are socialized to not seek out sex lest they be considered tramps, but if they're having sex against their will they can avoid guilt.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/psyched/200805/why-do-women-have-erotic-rape-fantasies
One Eyed Mind
 
  0  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 01:33 pm
@parados,
Indeed, I always suspected that the way people deal with sex is in fact psychical inflammation. Hear me out, Para. I have a friend who can confirm this along with many reoccurring events in this world. He is sexually attracted to cigarettes, but the profound question is, "Why?". He told me he once had a man that chained smoked in his life that he HATED BEYOND BELIEF, because this man ruined his family's finances for drugs. I asked myself then, "Is it possible that the human brain is able to make us love what we hate, because hate brings us pain and the brain is built to take pain away when we cannot sustain?".

It's very interesting to also consider that ALL sexual fantasies are the OPPOSITE of our human character. As if the animal inside us is living a double-life, so to speak. OR perhaps... Our sexual fantasies are the shadows of our character, as to say it's a mirror aspect of the brain where inversion, compensation and denial (going on the opposite side of the spectrum to avoid another) is creating "Sexual Fantasies".
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2014 02:00 pm
@parados,
Quote:
•Sexual Blame Avoidance - (See my ex, above.) Women are socialized to not seek out sex lest they be considered tramps, but if they're having sex against their will they can avoid guilt.


How many innocent men had found themselves charge with rape and even found guilty of rape due to the above?
 

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